Testify to Love

Maturity is not only about growing old but it also about growing up, how ur personality fit with ur age.
Being mature, not for show to people only, but it is for urself first. And I was thinking that being mature is all about be independent; u can handle ur things well, decide ur own decision and be consistent, not depend on people (try not to make other people too busy for our business), be kind to people, knowing the right and the wrong, do ur responsibilities well, etc..etc. Sounds perfect huh? Becos of that idealism of mine, then I forget something which is also shown maturity, that, not everything will be goin as well as we planned, not everything I want I will get, and not every wish come true at the moment. When I look back and think, I saw my immaturity when I couldn't get the things that I want, when all my plans are not work as I want and my only hope is gone. Been whining all the time, pouting like I blame anything, and being whatever to myself.
It was really shown my immaturity and spoiled people. I just thinking that my future is only as I've planned before. I forgot that in the bible, God has said that "My plan is not ur plan. It is above all thoughts that human could imagine.." My focus is all about my life purpose which I created myself, been so self-centered for those reason. Gaby!u gotta stop this..
I know there something must be changed. Something is not forever the same. Something must be developed and something must be left. I remember my friend's quote "we need to be broken. we need to be molded. we need to be soft clay in the hands of our almighty." If this is the time, the greatest have yet to come!:)
C'mon! Learn to be better and mature with urself Gab!

Hmm..by the way I need to get some advices from u guys if there any. Feel free to comment :)

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Akhir-akhir ini lagi freak abis sama kura-kura. Since I have been staying back in Indonesia, my interest of animal increased. Haha! I started loving dog, turtles, even CAT!! Haha.. Actually just got another two cats in my house. So tiny..so small and CUTE!! Just like my turtles. Few mins ago just brought another lil tiny brazil-turtle, named ALO. Hahaha. So now I have 3 brazil turtles in my house, they are Tole, Keke and Alo.
Yahh..they were so cheering me up on my spare time at home. At least I've got something I can play with. Sounds pitty? I am not! As long as I like it. Hohoho
Mm..kata koyon (sumber terpercaya) si kuya, pagi tuh mesti dijemur about 10-15 mins, makan sayur oke, trus ga boleh dibawa jalan2 keseringan ntar bisa memperpendek umur, trus harus rajin bersihin "kandangnya". Hihi so far statusnya: terlaksana.
Katanya juga si kuya ini bisa membesar dan mulai menggigit. Sampai saat itu tiba, I'm gonna take the best care of them till they're getting bigger, boring and start bitting then I'm gonna give them to somebody who interested. Haha. Am I wrong doing that? Who cares! ;P

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Well..lately I just realized some of manado doubled-words are funny! Let me share some..
- somu-somu = mendung = cloudy
- cigi-cigi = jambak = pull the hair
- boto-boto = capung = dragonfly
- rie-rie = jangkrik = cricket
- tikus-tikus = kesemutan = cramp
- gula-gula = permen = sweets
- dabu-dabu = sambel = chilli
- uru-uru = pijat = massage

Haha! How was it? Isn't it funny! I actually forget abit, but so far the words are still reached.

These are another:
- rado = rampas = seize
- kuleto = cubit = pinch
- capeo = topi = hat
- ondo = timang = carry (mm..apa yah yg lebih tepat?)
- suntung = cumi-cumi = squid
- hela = tarik = pull
- tola = dorong = push
- sorong = minggir = move to the edge

Hahah! Orite. For ur info these words are not used as dialy words anymore by most of people. But there are some who are still. While I'm writing these words, I do laugh! Haha it is funny tho, even for me but it's nice and easy to understand!

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Mm..tiap hari itu sebenernya ada tekanannya. Tiap hari pasti deg-degan sama hal2 baru. Tapi yah itu yang bikin kita tiap hari tambah tougher. Kayak ada istilah "experience is the best teacher". Emang sih, rather than just hear or see, ngerasain sendiri bikin lebih belajar. Hmm, itulah hidup. Penuh dengan hal-hal baru, or in proper, life is long-term lesson. Haha.
Everything does change, instead of the changing itself. Karena semuanya berubah, maka belajar itu ga ada habisnya.
Dan rasanya dalam belajar itu ga ada kata gagal harusnya. No matter how many times we've fail, mau ga mau we've to get through it! Iya kan? Dan pasti ada hasilnya. Tinggal, bagaimana usaha kita. Ya, ga ada kata gagal adanya berusaha!
Bulan-bulan ini rasanya masih berat sih. Tapi untungnya tiap hari ada yang baru. Kadang tekananya dateng ampe berhari2. Kadang langsung beres. Hmm, tapi oke kok. Belajar buat belajar. Tiap kasus ada hikmahya. Toh yang gini2 juga nambah wawasan juga buat investasi masa depan. Hahah. Makin ga dipikirin makin menarik hidup ini!

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Can I just be my self? Geezz.. Sometime, work life din make me happy or grateful. Haha, I feel sometime I kill my character. Too innocent only make me like a fool. Business world sometime so evil and now I learn to be clever like a snake. Hahah..what dya think? Deep inside my heart I still want to go bible school..
Base on the reality, can I still dream bigger than this? Haha...I even asked, will He laugh when I tell Him about my future plan? J. Rachmat ever said to design our life, so how is it? If God already designed it for us.. Haha. Orite. I dunno. I learn to be tougher and hopefully I'm not gonna stuck here for ever. Amen.
Remember that I'm now setting a new goal? Uum..my goal is to learn flowing with God's plan. Is it okay if I say it a goal? Haha..yeah..apa boleh buat, buat apa yg blh.. Hahah, I'm now trying even harder to love my job, love my life! Enjoy ajaa hahah

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A.R. Bernard quotes:
"If u've never experienced the pain of wrong decision, u'll never celebrate wisdom in ur life"
Today I let one of my client gone just because I'm in half to gambling with my analysis. Ha ha finally I didn't make a good deal at all. Alright, this is my first case having unsatisfied client in hand. It supposed to be a common case in business world I just feel a bit upset with my self of not being obedience with the rules. Feel like what Einstein said about be a man of purpose rather than a man of success. Guess I know how it feels! Umm..orite, pain today a wisdom for tomorrow:)

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Oct 9 was my birthday, this year the first time I felt like don't wanna skip my birthday at all. Doesn't matter with the presents, just hope I have some friends here to celebrate with. I was really lonely that time, knowing that everyone were not here. But then, God just knew it. Ha ha! Never be the same with what I've thought before. It was so awesomely sweet. I got my lovely people around me (without forgetting my bf of cos) ;P
Daddy came back home on time, together with my best friend, Chris, and brought me a blackberry storm which I never imagine to be real (ha ha cos I was asking another type of phone) and my birthday night was my fav part! Couldn't tell it openly. It was too sweet to be published. Thank God for the sweet gift!:)
Oh ya, thank to my bf and friends for the rest wonderful gifts I've received. But actualy my birthday will never be complete without your (aka. all my friends) caring and loving for me, while the gifts are only a lil more extra :) and thank U God, You are the best :)
My wishes in this officially 19th,to be more patient, wiser, and even tougher to live this tough life, to be REAL! Gotta set all the new goals up and keep it fresh in mind with spirit and hope! Yosh! I can do it :)

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Again, my mind is blown up. I really have so much times to think about so many things.
Fellowship. I was reading a book, the most popular book of Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life". There is written about fellowship, and that time I was skipping out the chapter. Why? Because I dont feel the true of it. In fact, I left cg after it is done, and oftenly thingking that fellowship is killing time especially when that was a deadline week. But anyway, I'm not trying to say that I hate fellowship. No no no.. I mean, I used to have that point of view. I totally changed it, I knew its benefit already.
Fellowship is one package with cg. Cg alone is still half-done of cg itself. When u go to cg or any religion meeting or whatever-it-is-called meeting, u got only the theory, the practise is when u are going to fellowship with people.
Fellowship could help u to find ur life purpose, it also helps u to bigger ur dream and expand ur vission. With them u could dig up ur potential optimally. You'll keep on burning with God. Simple, it keeps u in the right path of ur life. They are the most significant gift God had ever given.
Huaaa talking bout fellowship made me shattered. I'm in the miss of my home cg!! So missing S43 a lot!

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Haha lagi2 ada coretan ngawur kayak postingan sebelumnya, yah itulah serunya ngeblog! It was just some crazy expression in the mid of the day!
Tonite I got something that slap me out of that crazyness. Haha
Sometimes we just focus on what we dont have, while gratitude on what we have is making much much better. Well well, again, this is a lesson to be grateful for what we are and what we have.
Yeah, start asking God for what is this happening for, rather than just whining why are these things happened. Haha by the way, I'm not trying to say that I'm whining (again) lately, in fact I'm so enjoying these days ;D haha perhaps I need to describe it in a better way, hihi!
Uuuu I wanna more and more burning eh! So grateful for today, I rejoice yay! ^^

Eyy and tonite I want to SHOOOOUUUUUTTT!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!! Hahahaha

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Hmm,,mimpi..
Pernah ga sih ditanyain tentang mimpi? Hmm, kalo ditanya tentang mimpi, gw ga bisa jawab. Mungkin gw cm bakal ngeles, "mimpi cuma buat orang yg slalu tidur..dan gw disini lagi berjuang buat hidup. Haha"
Ga tau deh..gw ini sebenernya tipe yg agak perfeksionis. Gw suka something yg sempurna, yg emang harusnya gitu. Dulu, waktu kecil gw pengen slesein skolah gw sampe degree and that's it, kerja (jadi animator), berkarya, ketemu jodoh, merit, bangun usaha, jadi bos, punya anak, yah happy ending lah pokoknya. Simple! Haha dan gw sadar, perfeksionis gw terlalu sosial. Ga selalu perfek itu ngikutin aturan biar dimata orang bagus. Hidup, hidup gw. Mau gw bikin perfek aja ala gw. Haha!
Kalo skarang, gw ikutin hidup ajalah, kemana berlabuhnya. Toh semua ada yang ngatur, mau belok kanan tapi jalanya lurus ya ga bisa! Haha kayaknya gw butuh mimpi baru nih, or lebih tepatnya gol baru. Feel like keeping something that's not mine. Skarang gw sedang enjoy2nya ga skolah, uda kerja, tapi bukan hasil usaha sendiri, jadi blom ngerasain susahnya nyari duit, punya duit tapi ga punya mimpi mo diapain. Hahaha perfek aja! Gw enjoyyy....

"Expect nothing, live frugally on surprises!"

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It was 14.59 -
I was playing with stuff in my gadget. For once in a life time. Accidentally. I found, "at the end of the day, it is u, still u, who made up my day."

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While sitting in front of a therapy room, my mind flies away.
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Just realized. Have u ever heard this phrase:
"more than coquerors" - an interpretation from Rome 8: 37.

Why then it said that we are more than a conquerors?
Let me give u a short illustration:
Let say, there is a man, he has a wife and he is a boxer. So his job is boxing. He produces money with boxing. Someday he is about to join a championship prized some amount of big money. He starts to train hard to win that game. He is really made effort of it.
Till the day's coming, he is now standing on a stage ready to conquer every single rivals. Finally he is worth his hardwork. He won the game and got the money. He is a conqueror.
He went back and bringing the money home. After home, he showed the money to his wife and she took it. He just do nothing. So, it means, his wife is more than a conqueror!

So, don't we similar like that? We have Jesus as a conqueror. He was conquered all for us, so WE ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! Haha. Honestly, I just realized it and I'm happy I got my own revelation. Hehe :)

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After a very long time, I finally met him. My very best friend since my secondary. Haha. What a relief talking with him about lot of things. Many things!
Though it was only about 2 hours we met, but I was really enjoying it cos I could be myself, honestly. Sometimes we keep a secret from some people to keep a better situation, while sometimes for some people u just dont.
Yeah I thank God, He gave me such a good friend for me and thanked be to God again I could be such a good friend for him :)
Chris, I'll see u soon! Have a good flight :D

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Right! Lately I just realized and believed some common things, which only I heard but never I see, such as:

- dog, its food is seriously BONE! Any bones! ;D

- this is not a perfect world, neither the man inside

- this world is getting more and more evil. It comes to worst everyday

- man couldn't live alone, that's why we need friend from the beggining we had created (err..I guess I knew it from the very long time)

- man are complex

- I know why there are people who want to suicide themself

- optimist, focus on opportunities in every situation
Pesimistist, focus on problems in every situation

- man are not forever young ;p

- I admit since I was in sg, I became a lil bit impatient; habit creates a character

- when u feel so nothing u've to open up ur eyes widely and see the world around u and it'll makes u grateful for what u are :)

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