Hari Shabbat Hari Tuhan, Hari Suci dan Kudus
5 years ago
My life transition from fight for a good result of exam and now struggling to make some profit. But I start enjoying this. The only thing that press me so much, my other option which always I chose is hide. Stay in my room, under dad's authority and just watch over them. I can't believe I hide and stay in my comfort zone. Come on! Is this me? It's been two weeks I'm being this lazy and whatever feeling, come again.
I know I was wrong, was being like a coward. I know what is the only solution, it just..my thoughts sink me down in the ocean. Run again. Ah! I just need more time to make it.
God..help me.
You know, as the day come add the age, I feel so many changing, as I met so many people then I start think differently. And today I don't know I feel all empty finding the right way to live.
It's kindda weird being my self here. Everything does have rules and its own nature law. While I'm in the middle stage of being liberal-socialist, and still not adapt yet. And so far, I found, be around with God is the best I've ever done. It's now decreasing cause I don't fight hard enough to my surroundings. While my heart still hungry and thirsty of the gospels, which I couldn't find here as often as I used to.
Other way, I'm still trying. I just simply found it less than before. Not so good impart in my life. But I know I have to face this and finished the battle. It's not done yet. I know, I need to motivate my self and either way I need support from people, and I just don't meet them yet, but almost. On my way there.
I've been almost everyday having abstract view, cos sometimes I can't afford what's going on. As it's going, I learn instead of doing nothing. And u know, for me life's exciting if you're willing to go in it deeper.
I have my another route for escape, next month will be: Jakarta - Bali - China. Sounds great and challenging . The only thing I'm thinking about is, can I still tweet from there? :p haha I'm doubt, that's mean I lost to record my journey on that microblog. Hmm.. but it's okay. I find a way. At least, I can break from this boredom.
Now the last thing to do is, pray more, pray hard to get the license from big Daddy up there. Hopefully I get this chance and everything will be going okay :)
wish me luck dear fellaz!
My Valentine
Love is around me! Thank God I feel loved and grateful for the people I love, and again thank God this val's day was together with lunar new year! hoho double happiness :D
by the way, it was not the angpao that makes me this happy. It's the presents!!!
I got 9 white ROSES!!! hyaaaa it's always be the most lovely present for me.
and the only person who always gives me that white is someone long time ago. Haha guess who? I wont tell you :p
and..I got ring frome daddy hahah oups it doesnt mean he wants to marry me, but yea, its his typical of giving. I oso got neckless on H+5, its from my best friend ever. Haha and there is one more, my daddy long legs, really he has been so good to me from early of this year. He's my uncle, and somehow, he just like a daddy. Next, I have my family gathering on that sunday, we were all wearing RED wow I was so happpyyy!!haha and then I have my friends come to visit. We were having such a good quality time together. Thank God He really makes me happy and not lonely anymore. Love love love love love love love love love, that my world is all about. I know its becos God wants me to be always happy in no matter what situation will be :)
Reply in Heaven
Tuhan, aku ingin tahu...
Mengapa Kau ijinkan hal-hal yang tidak adil terjadi di dunia ini?
Mengapa aku harus memberikan pipi yang kanan jika ditampar pipi yang kiri ?
Mengapa aku harus mencintai musuhku ?
Mengapa sepertinya aku harus selalu mengalah walau dirugikan ?
Mengapa aku harus bersabar atas banyak hal yang tidak menyenangkan ?Tolong Tuhan, jawab aku biar aku mengerti, karena aku merasa sangat lelah menganggung semua ini.
Reply from Heaven :
AnakKu terkasih,
tidakkah kau sadari bahwa mataKu selalu tertuju padamu ?
Aku tahu saat kau diperlakukan tidak adil. Aku melihat saat air matamu mengalir menahan perasaan jengkel yang tak terucapkan. Aku bahkan ikut merasakan kepedihan hatimu saat kau dikecewakan.
Tapi tahukah kau bahwa Aku semakin mengasihimu saat Aku melihat kau memaafkan orang lain yang menyakitimu dan bukannya membalas keburukan mereka ? Dan melihatmu bersabar atas sikap jahat yang mereka tujukan padamu membuatKu sangat marah.
Aku ijinkan semua itu terjadi supaya kau terlatih makin hari makin sempurna dan menyerupai Aku.
Tapi, pada saatnya Aku akan menggantikan semuanya dan memberkatimu sesuai kemuliaan dan kekayaanKu.
Aku akan membukakan bagimu pintu-pintu berkat di mana tak ada seorangpun bisa menutupnya. Dan Aku akan memberikan padamu kesempatan-kesempatan emas di mana tak seorang pun bisa mengambilnya.
Dan Aku telah melihat betapa jahatnya perbuatan mereka, dan akan membuat perhitungan dengan mereka yang tak dapat kau bayangkan.
Jadi, anakku janganlah kau berpikir bahwa Aku mengabaikanmu, karena sesungguhnya mataKu ada di segala tempat, mengawasi orang jahat dan orang baik.
"Dari karma baik yg kita pupuk pasti smua pembelajaran akan indah pada waktunya"
funny story
Finally abis belajar hal yang baru dari dunia bisnis nyokap, udah kenal lumayan banyak orang, ada cerita lucu nih di hari terakhir. Ketemu orang (partner bisnis), baik lho, uda gitu cakep, ulet, uda mapan jg, tapi anehnya kemaren donk, pas ketemu keliatan banget uda di pedekatein, omong punya omong udah mau diajak merit malah. HAHAHA edun benerr!! Baru juga ketemu, nyalinya gede juga. Haha emang bener kemaren2 ini ai pernah ngomong kalo ai udah pengen merit juga, tapi..err..hahah bukan begitu caranya. Hah I still wanna live my life like a 19th teen. Tapi lumayan ngibur juga karna abs kemaren disakitin, trus kata temen-temen ai juga, dan bener sih ngapain juga ai mesti lama-lama lemes sedih gitu2lah, skarang masih bisa milih2 dulu kok. Haha iya sih, ngejalanin apa yang uda di depan mata aja lah ga usah mikir susah :) I mean, ya, I believe there are a lot still look for me out there ;p (harus pede donkk) hehe jadi ga usah mikirin ato mpe ngebet mau merit lah yaa..hahah let's make something significant happen!
My Holiday
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."
Jer 29 :11
My holiday is over. But I really had so much fun with all my friends. Meet them even tho only for once was really pleasing me and relieving my stress. And above all else I want to thank my great God for the time He has given to me with the protection and meet all my needs. He is really great in work. I believe this only the beginning. Everything will be more stable in this year, the year of resurrection. Time for all the dreams and promises to be fulfilled.
3 days in singapore is so precious. Spent quality times with my beloved s43, nafa colix, my cusson and meeting new friends. Though everything is not the same as I leaving, my feeling still the same. And I learn something as I went there. That every people has their own problems but I called it a test. That God's working for everyone of us. I'm grateful for that cos it means we're able to go to the next level. When I see it, is like God spoke to me, "You see, I'm not doing that only to you. I'm doing that to every one according to their strength. It was a great rhema. Praise God!
And another thing, I finally met someone out of my expectancy, I'm no longer mad actually but the wound is still there so I was like "no, u'r not worth to meet me after everything u've done" and I know I was so wrong. That time I realize that deep in my heart I haven't been forgive'em. But I really mean to. I think it's only a matter of time.
And in conclusion, after all I've been through so many things, He will never fail me. I keep His promise in Jer 29:11 :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)