Struggle

Many times, people pray when they got in trouble time.
That what's happening today, hmm..kind of.

I wrote these, maybe could be a bit random or hard to you to understand. These part of my thoughts that I can't effort anymore. The fear in me come out, though I spoke lot of words of God that say "Don't be afraid", just..lemme pour out everything here.

Today.
People come around and say, 'hey don't forget to pray, this time more dangerous'
(Helo? They tell me like I never pray *sigh)
Then I said, I'm praying every day for you, but do you? I believe God wants you to pray and ask too, and not only me.
I know, the situation here are getting more difficult. Like BOOM! I just heard a news in the morning, and the reaction come so fast! Woohoo! Exciting and dangerous.

This competition, everybody's knew it, the strongest will come as a winner. If people think they're not strong enough then they will never in. I believe all the candidates have a confidence that they are strong enough to compete. Well, so I conclude, it's not about the power of money or the power of authority that counts but the power of prayer.

I do pray, (maybe, we do) but... I know too, that they also pray. Or maybe, I can say, they pray more than we did. Cause, before this competition start, I know 'em more than other people see.
I have seen a lot of people make miracle happens, I've made miracle happens in my life, I heard stories about it and I believe, according to my faith, and according to what I've experienced.

I pray. I believe God hears my prayers. But they also pray, and I believe God hears their prayers too. This is all about the power to touch God hearts, even though we know God has already planned for these.

I spoke the words, I believe they did too. They even know more than I do. This is the war of spirit and not money. Cause above all else, God control everything more than money does.
I know, no matter how hard I pray, no matter how hard I try to be a better one, I'm only one from a million. I don't know but I feel like they are too strong for me. (Wait, don't see this as a statement of pessimism, or somewhat kind of self-intimidation) I say this according to what I feel.
My side, they do so much effort but less pray (or maybe they pray, but in a wrong way like James 4: 2-3 said). Their side, they also do some effort but pray in a way God wants. I don't know whether I am right or I am not, that's what I feel.

I'm thinking of, two possibilities:
1.) It's a real miracles for another candidate after they prayers, or
2.) It's our miracles about to happen in such a way we never imagine.

*sigh
About two weeks before the day, either my side or their side, it's all about God's victory. I might feel it or think about many possibilities here and there, but God will decide who worth all the effort.
When I think about these all, there is a part in my heart said "don't be distracted, you have the power of making miracles happen same as what they have" (like in matthew 4 said, the devil can intimidate us through word of God too) but in the other side I also heard "yes, you know it's their time, you know where is right and wrong, you know they really pay all prices, did you do as much as they did?" (remember the story of Daud and Golliat? small who can beat the big one?)

aaaaaaa, hard hard hard.. to think about what will happen next just make me sweat. It's a dilemma. I am even afraid to ask God for the victory, I know I'm not doing it well *sigh
Whatever it is, it all depends on God's will, that best.

continued...

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