Testify to Love

Have u ever think about suicide? I was once, thinking about it every single day. Without considering the effect, thinking whatever. Imagine how stressed I was.
But I've learned something thru this opportunity: do not decide something too quickly and in a hurry condition of a high emotion. It won't be a good decision ever.
Just face it with a lil patience (bcos I'm not a patient) and u'll see some moving of ur life wheel. U'll find many way out. And it talks about time. Bcos, we know, everything has its limit. Whether u did it perfectly or not, in effort or even whatever, sooner or later u'll pass it. Believe me. Just hold on for a moment.
Today, I don't care what people say, I'm happy to be myself, grateful to be here, at least God never leave me and it's powerfull u know, my life keep to be good with a lil difference. He gave me chances to enjoy something that u may not? Who knows :) and tommorrow? It must be great, I might be worth the waiting. And of course He knows when the best time of it :)

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Maturity is not only about growing old but it also about growing up, how ur personality fit with ur age.
Being mature, not for show to people only, but it is for urself first. And I was thinking that being mature is all about be independent; u can handle ur things well, decide ur own decision and be consistent, not depend on people (try not to make other people too busy for our business), be kind to people, knowing the right and the wrong, do ur responsibilities well, etc..etc. Sounds perfect huh? Becos of that idealism of mine, then I forget something which is also shown maturity, that, not everything will be goin as well as we planned, not everything I want I will get, and not every wish come true at the moment. When I look back and think, I saw my immaturity when I couldn't get the things that I want, when all my plans are not work as I want and my only hope is gone. Been whining all the time, pouting like I blame anything, and being whatever to myself.
It was really shown my immaturity and spoiled people. I just thinking that my future is only as I've planned before. I forgot that in the bible, God has said that "My plan is not ur plan. It is above all thoughts that human could imagine.." My focus is all about my life purpose which I created myself, been so self-centered for those reason. Gaby!u gotta stop this..
I know there something must be changed. Something is not forever the same. Something must be developed and something must be left. I remember my friend's quote "we need to be broken. we need to be molded. we need to be soft clay in the hands of our almighty." If this is the time, the greatest have yet to come!:)
C'mon! Learn to be better and mature with urself Gab!

Hmm..by the way I need to get some advices from u guys if there any. Feel free to comment :)

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Akhir-akhir ini lagi freak abis sama kura-kura. Since I have been staying back in Indonesia, my interest of animal increased. Haha! I started loving dog, turtles, even CAT!! Haha.. Actually just got another two cats in my house. So tiny..so small and CUTE!! Just like my turtles. Few mins ago just brought another lil tiny brazil-turtle, named ALO. Hahaha. So now I have 3 brazil turtles in my house, they are Tole, Keke and Alo.
Yahh..they were so cheering me up on my spare time at home. At least I've got something I can play with. Sounds pitty? I am not! As long as I like it. Hohoho
Mm..kata koyon (sumber terpercaya) si kuya, pagi tuh mesti dijemur about 10-15 mins, makan sayur oke, trus ga boleh dibawa jalan2 keseringan ntar bisa memperpendek umur, trus harus rajin bersihin "kandangnya". Hihi so far statusnya: terlaksana.
Katanya juga si kuya ini bisa membesar dan mulai menggigit. Sampai saat itu tiba, I'm gonna take the best care of them till they're getting bigger, boring and start bitting then I'm gonna give them to somebody who interested. Haha. Am I wrong doing that? Who cares! ;P

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Well..lately I just realized some of manado doubled-words are funny! Let me share some..
- somu-somu = mendung = cloudy
- cigi-cigi = jambak = pull the hair
- boto-boto = capung = dragonfly
- rie-rie = jangkrik = cricket
- tikus-tikus = kesemutan = cramp
- gula-gula = permen = sweets
- dabu-dabu = sambel = chilli
- uru-uru = pijat = massage

Haha! How was it? Isn't it funny! I actually forget abit, but so far the words are still reached.

These are another:
- rado = rampas = seize
- kuleto = cubit = pinch
- capeo = topi = hat
- ondo = timang = carry (mm..apa yah yg lebih tepat?)
- suntung = cumi-cumi = squid
- hela = tarik = pull
- tola = dorong = push
- sorong = minggir = move to the edge

Hahah! Orite. For ur info these words are not used as dialy words anymore by most of people. But there are some who are still. While I'm writing these words, I do laugh! Haha it is funny tho, even for me but it's nice and easy to understand!

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Mm..tiap hari itu sebenernya ada tekanannya. Tiap hari pasti deg-degan sama hal2 baru. Tapi yah itu yang bikin kita tiap hari tambah tougher. Kayak ada istilah "experience is the best teacher". Emang sih, rather than just hear or see, ngerasain sendiri bikin lebih belajar. Hmm, itulah hidup. Penuh dengan hal-hal baru, or in proper, life is long-term lesson. Haha.
Everything does change, instead of the changing itself. Karena semuanya berubah, maka belajar itu ga ada habisnya.
Dan rasanya dalam belajar itu ga ada kata gagal harusnya. No matter how many times we've fail, mau ga mau we've to get through it! Iya kan? Dan pasti ada hasilnya. Tinggal, bagaimana usaha kita. Ya, ga ada kata gagal adanya berusaha!
Bulan-bulan ini rasanya masih berat sih. Tapi untungnya tiap hari ada yang baru. Kadang tekananya dateng ampe berhari2. Kadang langsung beres. Hmm, tapi oke kok. Belajar buat belajar. Tiap kasus ada hikmahya. Toh yang gini2 juga nambah wawasan juga buat investasi masa depan. Hahah. Makin ga dipikirin makin menarik hidup ini!

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Can I just be my self? Geezz.. Sometime, work life din make me happy or grateful. Haha, I feel sometime I kill my character. Too innocent only make me like a fool. Business world sometime so evil and now I learn to be clever like a snake. Hahah..what dya think? Deep inside my heart I still want to go bible school..
Base on the reality, can I still dream bigger than this? Haha...I even asked, will He laugh when I tell Him about my future plan? J. Rachmat ever said to design our life, so how is it? If God already designed it for us.. Haha. Orite. I dunno. I learn to be tougher and hopefully I'm not gonna stuck here for ever. Amen.
Remember that I'm now setting a new goal? Uum..my goal is to learn flowing with God's plan. Is it okay if I say it a goal? Haha..yeah..apa boleh buat, buat apa yg blh.. Hahah, I'm now trying even harder to love my job, love my life! Enjoy ajaa hahah

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A.R. Bernard quotes:
"If u've never experienced the pain of wrong decision, u'll never celebrate wisdom in ur life"
Today I let one of my client gone just because I'm in half to gambling with my analysis. Ha ha finally I didn't make a good deal at all. Alright, this is my first case having unsatisfied client in hand. It supposed to be a common case in business world I just feel a bit upset with my self of not being obedience with the rules. Feel like what Einstein said about be a man of purpose rather than a man of success. Guess I know how it feels! Umm..orite, pain today a wisdom for tomorrow:)

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