Testify to Love

A Class

2010-10-31T15:16:00.002+08:00

I attached a tiny little picture of my current class, was friday after the last class of october end.

Refleksi

2010-10-31T15:08:00.003+08:00

Seringkali aku berkata,
Ketika semua orang memuji, milikku

Bahwa sesungguhnya ini hanyalah titipan
Bahwa mobilku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa rumahku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa hartaku hanyalah titipan-Nya
Bahwa putraku hanyalah titipan-Nya

Tetapi, mengapa aku tak pernah bertanya:
Mengapa Dia menitipkan padaku ?
Untuk apa Dia menitipkan ini padaku ?
Dan kalau bukan milikku, apa yang harus kulakukan untuk milik-Nya itu ?
Adakah aku memiliki hak atas sesuatu yang bukan milikku ?

Mengapa hatiku justru terasa berat, ketika titipan itu diminta kembali oleh-Nya ?
Ketika diminta kembali, kusebut itu sebagai musibah
Kusebut itu sebagai ujian, kusebut itu sebagai petaka
Kusebut itu sebagai panggilan apa saja untuk melukiskan kalau itu adalah derita
Ketika aku berdoa, kuminta titipan yang cocok dengan hawa nafsuku

Aku ingin lebih banyak harta,
ingin lebih banyak mobil,
lebih banyak popularitas, dan
kutolak sakit,
kutolak kemiskinan,
seolah semua "derita" adalah hukuman bagiku

Seolah keadilan dan kasih-Nya harus berjalan seperti matematika:
Aku rajin beribadah, maka selayaknyalah derita menjauh dariku, dan nikmat dunia kerap menghampiriku.

Kuperlakukan Dia seolah mitra dagang, dan bukan kekasih
Kuminta Dia membalas "perlakuan baikku",
Dan menolak keputusan-Nya yang tak sesuai keinginanku

Gusti,
Padahal tiap hari kuucapkan, hidup dan matiku hanya untuk beribadah.
Ketika langit dan bumi bersatu, bencana dan keberuntungan sama saja

Ws Rendra

Poster

2010-10-22T15:13:00.001+08:00

CIT Assignment
Group II, A Class

Wanita

2010-10-09T14:57:00.000+08:00

Tuhan,mengapa wanita begitu mudah menangis?

Tuhan berkata:
Ketika AKU menciptakan seorang wanita, ia diharuskan untuk mjdi seorang yang istimewa.
AKU membuat bahunya cukup kuat utk menopang dunia, namun harus cukup lembut untuk memberikan kenyamanan.
AKU memberikan kekuatan dari dalam untuk mampu melahirkan anak dan menerima penolakan yang sering datang dari anak-anaknya.
AKU memberi kekerasan untuk membuatnya tetap tegar saat orang lain menyerah, dan mengasuh keluarganya dgn penderitaan+kelelahan tanpa mengeluh.
AKU memberi kepekaan untuk mencintai anak-anaknya dalam tiap keadaan, bahkan ketika anaknya bersikap sangat menyakiti hatinya.
AKU memberinya kekuatan utk mendukung suaminya dalam kegagalannya dan melengkapi dengan tulang rusuk suaminya untuk melindungi hatinya.
AKU memberi kebijaksanaan untuk
mengetahui bahwa suami yang baik takkan pernah menyakiti istrinya, tapi kadang menguji kekuatan dan ketetapan hatinya untuk berada di sisi suaminya tanpa ragu.
Akhirnya,
AKU memberinya air mata untuk diteteskan. Ini adalah khusus miliknya untuk digunakan kapan pun ia butuhkan.
Kau tahu, kecantikan seorang wanita bukanlah dari pakaian yang dikenakannya, sosok yang ia tampilkan atau bagaimana ia menyisir rambutnya.
Kecantikan seorang wanita harus dilihat dari matanya,karena itulah pintu hatinya tempat dimana cinta itu ada.

Last Day 19th

2010-10-08T23:27:00.009+08:00

Hi..tonight is October 8th, 22:59.
60mins+1 away from twenties..I'm now widely awaken, waiting for..or maybe looking for a feeling of difference.
Is there any certain significant feeling when turning teen age to (let's say) a mature age?

One thing for sure, I am grateful for everything. Every bitterness and every laughter, they are all strengthen me and help me to grow up.I thank God, for I have a great God like Jesus Christ, who always give me the best.
My family; mama, papa, christo and monic, no matter how imperfect its form, but they are the best in my life.
My friends, they are thousands out there and I thank God. Wherever I go, God provides me such a lovely friends as a companionship, singapore and here, I love them and I miss them.
and then to a very special one, my beloved ryan, who faithfully support me in everything I do, love me unconditionally. He is the greatest gift God ever gifted to me in my life.

Slight View of IBA students

2010-10-08T22:42:00.003+08:00

well..this is the second assignment: post a video to your blog about IBA activity!
So..tadaaaa!! this is my class :D
I took this video when actually there must have a class activity but the lecturer didn't show up, so..as u can see, a very quick recorded taken by WINDA my friend (thanks anyway!), we are so free. Welcome to Indonesia! LOL

Jilly Gabriella E
IA - 100613009

CIT Project: About IBA

2010-09-30T13:13:00.004+08:00

Jilly Gabriella Eman/IA - 100613009

Been so busy lately and have no time to write. My last post recorded on July while now last day on September. Too much things to write too little energy.

In fact I got so much things in my mind to share.

I started my new college here (Manado, red), since I came back to my hometown last year, and now studying international business administration in UNSRAT (Universitas Sam Ratulangi) Manado.

This is actually one of my assignment: make a blog and post something about IBA life. Thats why on the very top one I wrote my identity.

Well..let's start.

College, for me, is a place where you can find bunch of friends there, but the real school actually is not collage itself but life. Be a part of IBA is a pleasure. I've got plenty friends and knowledge that I've never got before.

IBA has a loooooot of events, such as IBA Night, IBA weekend, IBA expo, etc. I never imagine how do they manage it. But it simply proofs that they are able to afford it. Unfortunately I cant join every single event, cause I live in Tomohon and to be effective I must eliminate activities which is not really useful for me to involved. Beside, studying while working is not that easy.

The curriculum is not much different with NAFA (my college before, red). It has certain amount of credits that have to be fulfilled by the end of the semester. The earliest class starts from 7 o'clock in the morning up to 1 o'clock in the afternoon and even 3 o'clock in the evening.

IBA freshie class divided to 4 classes; IA, IB, IC, and ID. Actually there's nothing differenced it, just a way to divide student into classes.

The rest collage stuff, I think, is totally the same with any other collage and faculty we generally known. My goal is, study hard and graduate as soon as possible.

Thanks for reading and stay touched! :)

Walk boldly

2010-07-29T15:57:00.000+08:00

H-6 the pressure is stronger.
There is always moment when I get intimidated and suddenly the fear come through my body mind and heart. Shivering. Panic. Afraid. Frightened. Discourage. Worry. Etc.
It means that I gotta fasten the prayer.

2 Cor 4
We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.

These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times,..

... not a day goes by without his unfolding grace.

Joel Osteen once said,
The key of success is not to be discouraged, while you're in the process..

Yes. I believe that the favor of God can bring us out of difficulties and turn adversities around for good.

2010-07-28T16:49:00.001+08:00

kata papa, dimana bumi dipijak disitu kaki melangkah...

2010-07-22T09:42:00.001+08:00

"Seorang kekasih, ingat setiap pengorbanan yg dia lakukan untukmu, tapi kekasih sejati ingat setiap pengorbanan yg kamu lakukan untuknya."

When You Believe

2010-07-16T08:47:00.000+08:00

This is the song I'm currently listening.

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains long
Before we knew we could

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayers so often prove(s) in vain
Hope seems like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles, when you believe
Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will
You will when you believe

They don't (always happen) when you ask
(Oh)
And it's easy to give in to your fears
(Oh...Ohhhh)
But when you're blinded by your pain
Can't see your way straight throught the rain
(A small but )still resilient voice
Says (hope is very near)
(Ohhh)

There can be miracles
(Miracles)
When you believe
(Lord, when you believe)
Though hope is frail
(Though hope is frail)
It's hard to kill
(Hard to kill, Ohhh)
Who knows what miracles,you can achieve
When you believe, somehow you will(somehow,somehow, somehow)
somehow you will
You will when you believe

You will when you
You will when you believe
Just believe...in your heart
Just believe
You will when you believe

Karakter berdasarkan Bulan Lahir

2010-07-15T18:51:00.000+08:00

Intermezzo dulu ya fellas,
I received this broadcast and found it interesting.
Karakter menurut bulan lahir, ya ga ilmiah sih tapi lumayan kena (for me personally).
Hehe try it!

;) JANUARI
* Mudah menyintai
* Mudah melupakan saat dikhianati * Pandai mengoda
* Romantis tetapi kaku
* Mudah cemburu
* Mudah bergaul & pemalu

;) FEBRUARI
* Sukar jatuh cinta
* Menghargai pasangan
* Jujur & transparan
* Nekad
* Sangat romantis
* Modis

;) MARET
* Mudah menarik simpati lawan jenis
* Tidak mandiri
* Pemalu
* Mudah cemburu
* Manja
* Mudah menyintai
* Penuntut

:) APRIL
* Sulit jatuh cinta
* Tidak berani berterus terang
* Pemalu
* Butuh perhatian
* Pencemburu
* Setia
* Mudah emosi
* Ngak romantis
* Sukar melupakan pasangan walaupun dikhianati

;;) MEI
* Mudah jatuh cinta
* Baik & jujur
* Romantis
* Suka mengatur
* Suka berkhayal

:) JUNI
* Tidak bisa menyenangkan pasangan
* Mudah menyintai tetapi terlalu memilih
* Cerewet
* Mudah emosi
* Mudah ngambek
* Pelindung sejati
* Gila pujian

;) JULI
* Pandai menjaga diri
* Suka didampingi
* Sukar dimengerti
* Suka & senang berterus terang
* Mudah terluka & lama pulih
* Mudah ngambek
* Setia
* Pendengar yang baik
* Mudah cemburu
* Suka menilai & menjaga hubungan

:) AGUSTUS
* Suka memimpin
* Romantis
* Penuh kasih sayang & penyayang
* Sangat sensitif
* Mudah curhat

;) SEPTEMBER
* Sopan
* Suka mengkritik
* Sangat sensitif & emosi
* Pandai memahami
* Kurang menunjukan perasaannya terhadap pasangan
* Sukar melupakan jika hatinya terluka
* Pandai menyimpan perasaan
* Suka berterus terang

;;) OKTOBER
* Pandai berkomunikasi
* Suka disayang & menyayangi
* Sopan
* Jujur & jarang berpura ~ pura
* Mudah emosi
* Pencemburu
* Romantis
* Memahami pasangan

;) NOVEMBER
* Cermat & teliti
* Suka berahasia dengan siapapun
* Kuat berpendirian
* Pendendam
* Mudah emosi
* Moody

;) DESEMBER
* Mudah menyintai
* Selalu tergesa ~ gesa
* Tidak mandiri
* Menyintai kebebasan
* Pandai mempengaruhi

How is it? :)

Struggle

2010-07-14T15:10:00.004+08:00

Many times, people pray when they got in trouble time.
That what's happening today, hmm..kind of.

I wrote these, maybe could be a bit random or hard to you to understand. These part of my thoughts that I can't effort anymore. The fear in me come out, though I spoke lot of words of God that say "Don't be afraid", just..lemme pour out everything here.

Today.
People come around and say, 'hey don't forget to pray, this time more dangerous'
(Helo? They tell me like I never pray *sigh)
Then I said, I'm praying every day for you, but do you? I believe God wants you to pray and ask too, and not only me.
I know, the situation here are getting more difficult. Like BOOM! I just heard a news in the morning, and the reaction come so fast! Woohoo! Exciting and dangerous.

This competition, everybody's knew it, the strongest will come as a winner. If people think they're not strong enough then they will never in. I believe all the candidates have a confidence that they are strong enough to compete. Well, so I conclude, it's not about the power of money or the power of authority that counts but the power of prayer.

I do pray, (maybe, we do) but... I know too, that they also pray. Or maybe, I can say, they pray more than we did. Cause, before this competition start, I know 'em more than other people see.
I have seen a lot of people make miracle happens, I've made miracle happens in my life, I heard stories about it and I believe, according to my faith, and according to what I've experienced.

I pray. I believe God hears my prayers. But they also pray, and I believe God hears their prayers too. This is all about the power to touch God hearts, even though we know God has already planned for these.

I spoke the words, I believe they did too. They even know more than I do. This is the war of spirit and not money. Cause above all else, God control everything more than money does.
I know, no matter how hard I pray, no matter how hard I try to be a better one, I'm only one from a million. I don't know but I feel like they are too strong for me. (Wait, don't see this as a statement of pessimism, or somewhat kind of self-intimidation) I say this according to what I feel.
My side, they do so much effort but less pray (or maybe they pray, but in a wrong way like James 4: 2-3 said). Their side, they also do some effort but pray in a way God wants. I don't know whether I am right or I am not, that's what I feel.

I'm thinking of, two possibilities:
1.) It's a real miracles for another candidate after they prayers, or
2.) It's our miracles about to happen in such a way we never imagine.

*sigh
About two weeks before the day, either my side or their side, it's all about God's victory. I might feel it or think about many possibilities here and there, but God will decide who worth all the effort.
When I think about these all, there is a part in my heart said "don't be distracted, you have the power of making miracles happen same as what they have" (like in matthew 4 said, the devil can intimidate us through word of God too) but in the other side I also heard "yes, you know it's their time, you know where is right and wrong, you know they really pay all prices, did you do as much as they did?" (remember the story of Daud and Golliat? small who can beat the big one?)

aaaaaaa, hard hard hard.. to think about what will happen next just make me sweat. It's a dilemma. I am even afraid to ask God for the victory, I know I'm not doing it well *sigh
Whatever it is, it all depends on God's will, that best.

continued...

Lucuu

2010-07-07T19:39:00.000+08:00

Surat dari PENJUAL RUJAK yg PATAH HATI:

Wajahmu mmg MANGGIS, watakmu juga MELONkolis, tapi hatiku NANAS krn cemburu, SIRSAK napasku, hatiku ANGGUR lebur.Ini DELIMA dlm hidupku, mmg SALAKku, jarang APEL malam minggu.Ya Tuhan, mohon BELIMBINGANmu, kalo mmg perPISANGan ini baik utkku, SEMANGKA kau bahagia dg yg lain

TTD: SAWOnara.

Surat balasan dari pacarnya yg ternyata tukang sayur...

Membalas KENTANG suratmu itu, BROKOLI sudah kubilang, jangan tiap dateng rambutmu selalu KUCAI, JAGUNGmu gak pernah dicukur. Disuruh dateng malem minggu, ehh nongolnya LABU. ditambah kondisi keuanganmu makin hari makin PARE, kalo mo nelpon aja mesti ke WORTEL...CABE dehhhhh

Left Unsaid

2010-07-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

Ma, I miss you.
I miss your smile
I miss your voice
I miss your advice
I miss your phone
I miss you text me

I miss the time u check on me
I miss when u got mad to me
I miss when u look at me in the eyes and then kiss me good night

I miss u to take care of me
Buy me some presents
Bring me to haircut
Take me to the dentist, sometime forcing
I miss those bright and dark moments with you

Ma, I hope u understand how I miss you to be my super mom again

I don't say these to show that now you are nothing anymore for me, but..
I just try to show you how significant your presence to me.
I feel like sometimes, no..but many times, I can't stand these any longer without you, I really need you.
Ma, please get better. Have more spirit, I know u can!
My pray always be with you, every single day, get closer to a hundred percent health.

Ma, it doesn't mean that I think u r weak now, nooo..believe me u r even stronger now.
And I'm grateful for you is my mom like others could never be.

I love you.
Present, or even past I love you no less.
I love you just the way you are.
Yes..I love you so.

JG Quotes

2010-07-05T12:57:00.004+08:00

Suddenly today, I coincidently think some quotes:

- Your best place is only beside me in every place under the sky - JG

- Love is the only reason why I love you, loving you is my fate - JG

- It is wonderful how your presence works in my heart, it creates dozens of beautiful poem. woops! Now I see what it means falling, in love. - JG

- I hardly open my heart to the love that come and knock, but once it opens my love will work in perfect ways. Be ready! - JG

Hehe, well maybe it's gonna sound false to you, that's why I posted it here without publish it into twitter. So just enjoy it with all of your heart :P

you

2010-05-26T12:08:00.004+08:00

give it so much pain

give it so much laughter

give it so much mean to the world I'm living in

to the love I'm holding on

in every corner of my sight

in every top of my thought

in every silence I made

in every picture I see

thank God I have found

It happened

2010-05-17T16:44:00.003+08:00

This was a story weeks ago. I found this funny for my self.
I lost my wallet on 3rd of May, while watching "hardiknas" de vile of Tomohon (u'll get it if u leave here).
I admit that day I was so terribly panic, I know I was wrong, and dad's gonna be so mad at me. I lost his cards and mom's in my wallet, which that day he needs it urgently. That's why, I felt really bad.
The night I pray, I gave it back to God, that wallet is no longer mine but God. I blessed the people who steal it and I let it go (in fact I love my red wallet so) and try to never expect it anymore.
After a week, somebody found it. WOW. I laugh to my self, because the day it lost, a friend told me (it's his experience) to pray for that man and the wallet so it'll come back to me and I just said "don't need to pray for it to returned anymore, I've let it go." And in my heart I know it'll will never ever returned. Once a thing lost (especially wallet), it will forever not found, that's what I know. Beside, I can buy a new one. I thought so. But when it's found, I hardly believe it, it's like BOOM! God was trying to say that "heyy..through Me nothing is impossible" haha how funny! Can I say that a testimony? :)
maybe this post sounds simple but if u just were me, u'll know how great it was work hehe :)

Everything happens for reason :)

2010-05-05T11:04:00.000+08:00

Saat bertemu dgn orang yg benar-benar engkau kasihi, haruslah berusaha memperoleh kesempatan untuk bersamanya seumur hidupmu. Karena ketika dia telah pergi, segalanya telah terlambat.

Saat bertemu teman yang dapat dipercaya, rukunlah bersamanya. Karena seumur hidup manusia, teman sejati tak mudah ditemukan.

Saat bertemu penolongmu, Ingat untuk bersyukur padanya. Karena ialah yang mengubah hidupmu.

Saat bertemu orang yang pernah kau cintai, Ingatlah dengan tersenyum untuk berterima-kasih. Karena dialah orang yang membuatmu lebih mengerti tentang kasih.

Saat bertemu orang yang pernah kau benci, Sapalah dengan tersenyum. Karena ia membuatmu semakin teguh/kuat.

Saat bertemu orang yang pernah mengkhianatimu, Baik-baiklah berbincanglah dengannya. Karena jika bukan karena dia, hari ini engkau tak memahami dunia ini.

Saat bertemu orang yang pernah diam-diam kau cintai, Berkatilah dia. Karena saat kau mencintainya, bukankah berharap ia bahagia?

Saat bertemu orang yang tergesa-gesa meninggalkanmu, Berterima-kasihlah bahwa ia pernah ada dalam hidupmu. Karena ia adalah bagian dari nostalgiamu.

Saat bertemu orang yang pernah salah-paham padamu, Gunakan saat tersebut untuk menjelaskannya. Karena engkau mungkin hanya punya satu kesempatan itu saja untuk menjelaskan.

Saat bertemu orang yang saat ini menemanimu seumur hidup, Berterima-kasihlah sepenuhnya bahwa ia mencintaimu. Karena saat ini kalian mendapatkan kebahagiaan dan cinta sejati.

Saat membaca artikel ini…..
renungkanlah…. satu saat semua yang kita miliki harus dilepaskan, gengsi, harga diri, kehormatan,takhta, harta.

"Sedapat dapatnya kalau semua itu bergantung pada pilihan kita, hiduplah damai dengan semua orang, saling mengasihi, dan berusahalah tuk trs membahagiakan mrk"

Selamat pagi. Have a blessing day.

Now

2010-04-30T13:52:00.001+08:00

Something was just happened this day.
Me : "Oh God, wait...why now?"
God : "I cant wait any longer cos this is the right time for you, now..face it!"

God never too soon or too late. Sometime He ask us to wait, but sometime He cant wait. Cos He knows when is the best time to do something for us.
I was just passed one process and another just begin so quickly. But I believe, God is never wrong.

What's that? stay update :)

Untuk Direnungkan

2010-04-24T08:03:00.000+08:00

TUHAN memberkati engkau
dan melindungi engkau;
TUHAN menyinari engkau dengan wajah-Nya
dan memberi engkau kasih karunia;
TUHAN menghadapkan wajah-Nya kepadamu
dan memberi engkau damai sejahtera.
( Bilangan 6:23-26 )

Ingatkah kita akan kalimat di atas ..... ?
Atau mungkin dalam bentuk lain ..... ?

Ya .....
Doa berkat penutup ibadah .....

Ingatkah kita .....
Bagaimana Esau sampai meraung-raung ......
Minta Ishak, bapaknya, memberkatinya ..... ?

Demikian berharganya ......
Berkat seorang bapak untuknya .....

Sekarang .......
Lihat diri kita .......

Bagaimana kita langsung ambil tas .....
Segera beranjak dari tempat duduk .....
Sesaat sebelum kalimat di atas diucapkan ...... ?

Atau ......
Mungkin kita memang menerima berkat itu .......
Namun dengan pikiran sudah di tempat parkir ..... ?

Jangan-jangan ......
Kita bahkan sudah tak ingat lagi ......
Kapan terakhir kali kita menerima berkat itu ..... ?

Tidakkah kita bisa sedikit sabar .......
Untuk pulang sedikit terlambat .......
Demi menerima berkat Tuhan ...... ?

Atau jangan-jangan ......
Kita yang seharusnya menyampaikan berkat itu ...... ?

Namun .....
Kita serahkan pada orang lain ......
Lalu pergi meninggalkan tempat ibadah ......
Demi "tugas" pelayanan di tempat lain ..... ?

Kurangkah "berkat" dari-Nya ..... ?
Sampai-sampai kita remehkan berkat-Nya ..... ?

Jangan-jangan ......
Kita sudah mulai merasa sanggup .......
Hidup tanpa berkat Tuhan ..... ?

Jadi Apapun , Bagaimana pun keadaan kita , Jangan lupa Utama kan & libatkan TUHAN dalam hidup mu serta Baca & Lakukan lah Firman TUHAN selalu supaya Nama TUHAN saja yg di Mulia kan.

TUHAN Yesus memberkati.

Filosofi Mahatmah Gandhi

2010-04-22T10:04:00.000+08:00

‎
Seorang pria yg sudah tua hendak menumpang bus.Pada saat ia menginjakkan kakinya ketangga, salah satu sepatunya terlepas dan jatuh ke jalan. Lalu pintu tertutup dan bus mulai bergerak, sehingga ia tdk bisa memungut sepatu yg terlepas td.Lalu si bapak tua itu dgn tenang melepas sepatunya yg sebelah dan melemparkannya keluar jendela.
Seorang pemuda yg duduk dlm bus melihat kejadian itu, dan bertanya kepada si bapak tua, "Aku memperhatikan apa yg Anda lakukan Pak. Mengapa Anda melemparkan sepatu Anda yg sebelah juga ?" Si bapak tua menjawab, "Supaya siapapun yg menemukan sepatuku bisa memanfaatkannya."
Jadi dlm cerita di atas Mahatma Gandhi memahami filosofi dasar dalam hidup - jangan mempertahankan sesuatu hanya krn kamu ingin memilikinya/krn kamu tdk ingin orang lain memilikinya. Kita kehilangan banyak hal di sepanjang masa hidup. Kehilangan tersebut pada awalnya tampak seperti tidak adil dan merisaukan, tapi itu terjadi supaya ada perubahan positif yg terjadi dalam hidup kita.
Kalimat di atas tdk dpt diartikan kita hanya boleh kehilangan hal-hal jelek saja. Kadang, kita jg kehilangan hal baik. Ini semua dapat diartikan : supaya kita bisa mjd dewasa secara emosional dan spiritual, pertukaran antara kehilangan sesuatu dan mendapatkan sesuatu haruslah terjadi. Seperti si bapak tua dalam cerita, kita harus belajar untuk melepaskan sesuatu. Tuhan sdh menentukan bahwa memang itulah saatnya si bapak tua kehilangan sepatunya. Mungkin saja peristiwa itu terjadi supaya si bapak tua nantinya bisa mendapatkan sepasang sepatu yg lebih baik.
Satu sepatu hilang. Dan sepatu yang tinggal sebelah tidak akan banyak bernilai bagi si bapak. Tapi dgn melemparkannya ke luar jendela, sepatu itu akan menjadi hadiah yg berharga bagi gelandangan yang membutuhkan. Berkeras mempertahankannya tidak membuat kita atau dunia menjadi lebih baik, tapi memberikan dengan Tulus menjadi banyak orang terbantu dan bahagia

All My Life - KC&Jojo

2010-04-13T11:17:00.003+08:00

	KCI and JoJo - All My Life .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

Recently I love to hear this song, so much! Check it out :)

Baby (x11)

I'm So Glad...

I Will Never Find Another Lover
Sweeter Than You
Sweeter Than You
And I Will Never Find Another Lover
More Precious Than You
More Precious Than You
Girl You Are..
Close To Me You're Like My Mother,
Close To Me You're Like My Father,
Close To Me You're Like My Sister,
Close To Me You're Like My Brother
And You Are The Only One My Everything
And For You This Song I Sing....

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of........Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

All My Life (Ohhhh..Baby, Baby)
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I...That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

You're All That I Ever Know,
When You Smile All My Face Always Seems To Glow,
You Turned My Life Around,
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down,
You're All That I've Ever Known,
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
Say...You're All That I've Ever Known
When You Smile My Face Glows
You Picked Me Up When I Was Down
And I Hope That You
Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I ..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

(Fading)
And All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God That I...That I Finally Found You.....

broadcast of the day

2010-04-12T14:12:00.000+08:00

•Carilah seorang pria yang memanggil mu cantik, bukan hot / sexy.
•Yang menelepon kembali ketika kamu menutup telpon.
•Yang mau tiduran di bawah bintang dan mendengar detak jantungmu.
•Atau mau tetap terbangun untuk melihatmu tidur.
•Tunggulah seorang laki-laki yang mencium dahimu.
•Yang mau memamerkan dirimu pada dunia ketika kamu sedang keringetan.
•Yang menggenggam tanganmu di depan teman-temannya.
•Yang menganggap kamu tetap cantik tanpa riasan.
•Seseorang yang selalu mengingatkan kamu, betapa besar kepeduliannya padamu.
♡ dan betapa beruntungnya dia memilikimu ♡

Hold on

2010-04-10T10:39:00.001+08:00

that God is there for you to hold on. Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do, even if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your faith, even if it's easier to let go. Hold on to God's hand.

Power of Surrender

2010-04-09T23:39:00.001+08:00

"Sometimes God answers ur prayer not as what u've asked but according to what u need"

Been struggling for a long time, praying specifically, persistently, of something that I really want to.
At a time, I see that prayer even closer to be true. But, when it seems like an answer, suddenly things turn out complicated, most like my pray but don't feel like what I expect.
Till I come in a point, and my mind is up. I realized, I was force God to answer my prayer in a way I describe it. At the end it turns complicated. There is a situation that make me so hard to choose. Till I cast it all to God and let Him work it out. And I know, I've got something I need in God's way as an answer for what I've been praying for a long time ago.
It proves the word of God "ask and it shall be given to you" but another proven that God knows what's the best for us. So when things don't go ur way, don't be too quick to be upset, but willing to keep on believing that God wants the best for you :)
Have faith!

April

2010-04-09T17:39:00.000+08:00

As time goes by, it's been april already.
Next month is may, one more month to be a year since I went back from singapore. Haha it doesn't feel as long as I thought. I have much enough fun, upside down, but such a great time.
When I feel like, that was my process line, but then I was wrong. It was my comfort zone. The real process is about to begin. Haha
Quite not surprised, but it is exciting.
I believe this year is the year of revival. This year I'll be a 20 yo woman. I have a lot of wishes, of course to be better than this. Cos so far I don't feel any better on doing my job. I'm hiding under money authority and making a lot of excuses. Till somebody open up my mind. Haha
And actually there is a lil crush with the guys, haha, God I hate this. But I hope I take the right time this time. Found one but not sure yet hihi
Oh ya, this year I'm gonna start my collage again, taking bussiness course till 4 more years ahead. Don't feel like wanna go in again, but have to :p
Gonna be a great year to start the future. God.. I'm counting on You! :)

answer

2010-03-20T21:26:00.000+08:00

20 “Certainly, God does not reject a person of integrity
or give a helping hand to wicked people. 21 He will fill your mouth with laughter
and your lips with happy shouting

2010-03-20T21:25:00.000+08:00

8 “But I would seek God’s help
and present my case to him. 9 He does great things that we cannot understand
and miracles that we cannot count. 10 He gives rain to the earth
and sends water to the fields. 11 He places lowly people up high.
He lifts those who mourn to safety

2010-03-20T21:23:00.000+08:00

17 “Blessed is the person whom God corrects.
That person should not despise discipline from the Almighty. 18 God injures, but he bandages.
He beats you up, but his hands make you well.

2010-03-20T21:17:00.001+08:00

10 Then I would still have comfort.
I would be happy despite my endless pain,
because I have not rejected the words of the Holy One. 11 What strength do I have left that I can go on hoping?
What goal do I have that I would want to prolong my life? 12 Do I have the strength of rocks?
Does my body have the strength of bronze?

2010-03-01T14:43:00.001+08:00

sometimes, kita manusia, or maybe it's me myself, must open the eyes more to see God's blessings. Dipikir2 hidup yang sekarang ini uda enak, melimpah, terpenuhi, nyaman, senang, ga ada yang kurang. Masih bisa bangun, makan apa aja ada, kemana2 bisa, temen banyak, keluarga lengkap... yah kebutuhan dari primer sekunder ama tersier ada lah bisa di bilang..ga tau ya ama yang laen, tapi kalo introspeksi lagi, gw kenapa ya masih pengen ini lah, itulah, macem2 deh. dan ga jarang gw ngeluh. Pertanyaan sekarang, itu normal secara manusia apa gak si? apa emg manusia gw yang banyak maunya ya? haha
pernah baca quote like this: "the richest man is not he who has the most, but he who needs the least." dan menurut gw bener. Mungkin karena orang mikirnya kalo jadi orang kaya berarti ngumpulin harta sebanyak-banyak nya, makanya mpe akhirnya ngorbanin keluarga, kesehatan, and the worst is jadi cenderung tiap hari khawatir, ga tau khawatir apa tapi pasti ada aja (so far si hasil research saia seperti itu) nah..gw ga menjudge itu salah. Tapi, back to myself, gw ga pernah ngebayangin gw bakal hidup kayak gitu. Dan emang bener2, gw mau hidup berada, tapi yang dalam hati gw uda hepi, ga butuh apa2 lagi, dan bisa memberkati orang. Makanya kalo dipikir2 sekarang, fasilitas disini ga menjamin. Dalam hati, gw masih pengen balik singapur (gw aja bosen bilangnya) tapi beneran deh, kemaren waktu gw escape ke sg, 3 hari aja gw uda seneng, ya karena disana gw dapet kehangatan temen yang uda kayak keluarga..haha jadi konklusi number #1: keluarga. Bukan dari hubungan darah, tapi dari moment2 berharga yang kita lewati bareng. Tapi gw ga bilang kalo disini keluarga kandung gw ga penting, bukan. Nyatanya gw bela2in tetep disini juga karena keluarga gw :) disini karena kekeluargaan kita bener jalan dan berfungsi. Jadilah keluarga.
number #2 is: existence. Disana gw bener2 ngerasa dihargai selayaknya gebi, dan bukan karena gw anak siapa ato dari mobil yang gw pake, etc. Nooo, tapi gw bener2 eksis sebagai gebi. Karakter gw keluar dan bener2 bisa klik and mix match ama mereka. Ketika gw butuh support mereka, mereka ada, gitu juga sebaliknya. Nah, jadi menurut gw punya harta segunung pun kalo ga punya kehangatan dari orang2 yang terkasih pasti tetep berasa kurang :)
yeap, skarang gw punya itu semua, tapi kurang. Tekanan gono gini lebih gede. Hahah setres gw mikirnya. Cuma untung masih bisa pelayanan keep me close to God. Haha kadang pengen tereak "Tuhan..ga mampuuuu!" tapi ini race gw, dan gw bukan tipe yang gampang quit sihh. Hehehe
Jadi skarang obatnya harus enjoy. Mau enjoy harus tau grateful. Kalo kalian ada yang kayak gw skarang, mari sama2 yuk, kita belajar lebih lagi buat bersyukur. Yang gw yakin berkat Tuhan melimpah buat orang2 yang selalu bersyukur. Kalo buat berkat yang skarang aja kita ga bisa bersyukur, ntar ga dikasih lagi lho. Hoho
Yah mari siapin diri kita buat berkat yang lebih gede lagi yaa :)
God bless!

2010-02-25T12:23:00.004+08:00

saia lagi nabung buat beli mobil..
so far baru nemu satu yang imut2!

Yarris - PUTIH xD

2010-02-25T12:08:00.002+08:00

My life transition from fight for a good result of exam and now struggling to make some profit. But I start enjoying this. The only thing that press me so much, my other option which always I chose is hide. Stay in my room, under dad's authority and just watch over them. I can't believe I hide and stay in my comfort zone. Come on! Is this me? It's been two weeks I'm being this lazy and whatever feeling, come again.
I know I was wrong, was being like a coward. I know what is the only solution, it just..my thoughts sink me down in the ocean. Run again. Ah! I just need more time to make it.
God..help me.

2010-02-25T11:48:00.001+08:00

You know, as the day come add the age, I feel so many changing, as I met so many people then I start think differently. And today I don't know I feel all empty finding the right way to live.

It's kindda weird being my self here. Everything does have rules and its own nature law. While I'm in the middle stage of being liberal-socialist, and still not adapt yet. And so far, I found, be around with God is the best I've ever done. It's now decreasing cause I don't fight hard enough to my surroundings. While my heart still hungry and thirsty of the gospels, which I couldn't find here as often as I used to.

Other way, I'm still trying. I just simply found it less than before. Not so good impart in my life. But I know I have to face this and finished the battle. It's not done yet. I know, I need to motivate my self and either way I need support from people, and I just don't meet them yet, but almost. On my way there.

I've been almost everyday having abstract view, cos sometimes I can't afford what's going on. As it's going, I learn instead of doing nothing. And u know, for me life's exciting if you're willing to go in it deeper.

2010-02-20T08:46:00.001+08:00

I have my another route for escape, next month will be: Jakarta - Bali - China. Sounds great and challenging . The only thing I'm thinking about is, can I still tweet from there? :p haha I'm doubt, that's mean I lost to record my journey on that microblog. Hmm.. but it's okay. I find a way. At least, I can break from this boredom.
Now the last thing to do is, pray more, pray hard to get the license from big Daddy up there. Hopefully I get this chance and everything will be going okay :)
wish me luck dear fellaz!

My Valentine

2010-02-19T23:23:00.001+08:00

Love is around me! Thank God I feel loved and grateful for the people I love, and again thank God this val's day was together with lunar new year! hoho double happiness :D
by the way, it was not the angpao that makes me this happy. It's the presents!!!
I got 9 white ROSES!!! hyaaaa it's always be the most lovely present for me.
and the only person who always gives me that white is someone long time ago. Haha guess who? I wont tell you :p
and..I got ring frome daddy hahah oups it doesnt mean he wants to marry me, but yea, its his typical of giving. I oso got neckless on H+5, its from my best friend ever. Haha and there is one more, my daddy long legs, really he has been so good to me from early of this year. He's my uncle, and somehow, he just like a daddy. Next, I have my family gathering on that sunday, we were all wearing RED wow I was so happpyyy!!haha and then I have my friends come to visit. We were having such a good quality time together. Thank God He really makes me happy and not lonely anymore. Love love love love love love love love love, that my world is all about. I know its becos God wants me to be always happy in no matter what situation will be :)

Reply in Heaven

2010-02-14T13:39:00.000+08:00

Tuhan, aku ingin tahu...
Mengapa Kau ijinkan hal-hal yang tidak adil terjadi di dunia ini?
Mengapa aku harus memberikan pipi yang kanan jika ditampar pipi yang kiri ?
Mengapa aku harus mencintai musuhku ?
Mengapa sepertinya aku harus selalu mengalah walau dirugikan ?
Mengapa aku harus bersabar atas banyak hal yang tidak menyenangkan ?Tolong Tuhan, jawab aku biar aku mengerti, karena aku merasa sangat lelah menganggung semua ini.

Reply from Heaven :

AnakKu terkasih,
tidakkah kau sadari bahwa mataKu selalu tertuju padamu ?
Aku tahu saat kau diperlakukan tidak adil. Aku melihat saat air matamu mengalir menahan perasaan jengkel yang tak terucapkan. Aku bahkan ikut merasakan kepedihan hatimu saat kau dikecewakan.

Tapi tahukah kau bahwa Aku semakin mengasihimu saat Aku melihat kau memaafkan orang lain yang menyakitimu dan bukannya membalas keburukan mereka ? Dan melihatmu bersabar atas sikap jahat yang mereka tujukan padamu membuatKu sangat marah.
Aku ijinkan semua itu terjadi supaya kau terlatih makin hari makin sempurna dan menyerupai Aku.
Tapi, pada saatnya Aku akan menggantikan semuanya dan memberkatimu sesuai kemuliaan dan kekayaanKu.

Aku akan membukakan bagimu pintu-pintu berkat di mana tak ada seorangpun bisa menutupnya. Dan Aku akan memberikan padamu kesempatan-kesempatan emas di mana tak seorang pun bisa mengambilnya.

Dan Aku telah melihat betapa jahatnya perbuatan mereka, dan akan membuat perhitungan dengan mereka yang tak dapat kau bayangkan.

Jadi, anakku janganlah kau berpikir bahwa Aku mengabaikanmu, karena sesungguhnya mataKu ada di segala tempat, mengawasi orang jahat dan orang baik.
"Dari karma baik yg kita pupuk pasti smua pembelajaran akan indah pada waktunya"

funny story

2010-02-09T21:29:00.000+08:00

Finally abis belajar hal yang baru dari dunia bisnis nyokap, udah kenal lumayan banyak orang, ada cerita lucu nih di hari terakhir. Ketemu orang (partner bisnis), baik lho, uda gitu cakep, ulet, uda mapan jg, tapi anehnya kemaren donk, pas ketemu keliatan banget uda di pedekatein, omong punya omong udah mau diajak merit malah. HAHAHA edun benerr!! Baru juga ketemu, nyalinya gede juga. Haha emang bener kemaren2 ini ai pernah ngomong kalo ai udah pengen merit juga, tapi..err..hahah bukan begitu caranya. Hah I still wanna live my life like a 19th teen. Tapi lumayan ngibur juga karna abs kemaren disakitin, trus kata temen-temen ai juga, dan bener sih ngapain juga ai mesti lama-lama lemes sedih gitu2lah, skarang masih bisa milih2 dulu kok. Haha iya sih, ngejalanin apa yang uda di depan mata aja lah ga usah mikir susah :) I mean, ya, I believe there are a lot still look for me out there ;p (harus pede donkk) hehe jadi ga usah mikirin ato mpe ngebet mau merit lah yaa..hahah let's make something significant happen!

My Holiday

2010-02-07T09:06:00.000+08:00

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and future."
Jer 29 :11

My holiday is over. But I really had so much fun with all my friends. Meet them even tho only for once was really pleasing me and relieving my stress. And above all else I want to thank my great God for the time He has given to me with the protection and meet all my needs. He is really great in work. I believe this only the beginning. Everything will be more stable in this year, the year of resurrection. Time for all the dreams and promises to be fulfilled.
3 days in singapore is so precious. Spent quality times with my beloved s43, nafa colix, my cusson and meeting new friends. Though everything is not the same as I leaving, my feeling still the same. And I learn something as I went there. That every people has their own problems but I called it a test. That God's working for everyone of us. I'm grateful for that cos it means we're able to go to the next level. When I see it, is like God spoke to me, "You see, I'm not doing that only to you. I'm doing that to every one according to their strength. It was a great rhema. Praise God!
And another thing, I finally met someone out of my expectancy, I'm no longer mad actually but the wound is still there so I was like "no, u'r not worth to meet me after everything u've done" and I know I was so wrong. That time I realize that deep in my heart I haven't been forgive'em. But I really mean to. I think it's only a matter of time.
And in conclusion, after all I've been through so many things, He will never fail me. I keep His promise in Jer 29:11 :)

Rejoice :D

2010-01-12T00:04:00.001+08:00

Tuhan itu beneran baik, harga mati lho peeps. He knows, He really knows the time when you are needing the most. He knows exactly it is.
Jadi hari minggu kemaren gw bener2 ngalamin Tuhan super dasyat, and it still continues today and I believe it's gonna be a great week.
Jadi abis beberapa hari ini uda rasanya sakit sampe ke sumsum tulang, Tuhan ngasih penghiburan yang bener2 bikin sukacita ga abis2. Kalo nyampe kemaren my tears still pour down (gw jujur aja) abis ketemu Tuhan and surrender semua2nya, no more tears of broken heart lho :p yah, walopun masih sesek aja kalo diinget, rasanya masih belom rela (ternyata gw belon bisa sih) eh tapi abis itu dikasih jaminan kok ama Tuhan. Kata Tuhan "hakuna matata" karena Tuhan udah siapin rencana indah di depan, di luar sana uda banyak yang nunggu, so I'm not gonna stuck here. I believe this is my process to the next level, mematikan kedagingan, walopun mengorbankan rasa sekalipun. Padahal waktu itu gw mikirnya dia itu bener2 uda dari Tuhan lho, cos gw uda minta tanda kok and he was appeared in my dream. Tapi ya, rencana kita bukan rencana Tuhan, yaitu rancangan damai sejahtera dan bukan kecelakaan, ikut aja kemana Tuhan bawa. Hehe dan tentunya pake hikmat. Barusan ini aja, Tuhan uda ngetes, dan Tuhan tau bener deh, ckckck, emang akhirnya muncul orang2 yang ngasih perhatian khusus lah, ngirim2 text encouragement, ngajakin sana sini supaya katanya ga sedih lagi, even they refuse me to deactivated my fb acc (emang sih gw pikir juga sebenarnya ga guna haha) tapi ya, it's all my choice, dan gw sadar Tuhan lagi ngetes, emang banyak yang disiapin dan tinggal dipilih, gampang kok, tapi gw tau bukan itu yang Tuhan mau. Bukan gitu caranya ngelupain. Jadi ini bener2 murni harus dilawan dari dalam diri sendiri, ngelupain perasaan ini bukan dengan cara dapet gantinya dengan cepet, ato curhat sana sini ga jelas, tapi bener2 harus dari dalam diri sendiri. Gw yakin gw bisa. Tuhan support kok, dan dimata Tuhan aku masih sangat berharga, dan ini menjadi pelajaran yang sangat berharga. Bersyukur deh, umur masih 19 uda mulai dididik Tuhan, dan gw berharap kedepannya gw uda mateng buat great things yang uda disiapin Tuhan. Huwaaa, bener2 seneng, ada sukacita dan penghiburan. Tuhan bener2 baik, dan super mantap berkarya dalam hidup gw.

Ehh, oh ya, pastor Kong mau dateng lhooo, dan thank God gw terlibat, cant wait to see all of them here. Mudah2an semuanya lancar dan bisa ngobrol2 dikit sama mereka (hopefully!!!) Tuhan dahsyat dehh :DD

Text of the day

2010-01-10T13:14:00.002+08:00

" Keindahan hidup tidak tergantung seberapa bahagianya hidupmu didunia ini, tapi seberapa bahagianya orang lain karena dirimu. "

Thank you for send me this :)

Ngeblog

2010-01-10T12:54:00.003+08:00

Enaknya nulis apa ya hari ini? hehe kalo ikut mood ntar jadi melo-meloan lagi nulisnya.
Tapi emang sangat disesalkan kenapa harus jadi seperti ini. Dipikir dengan kepala dingin pun, hati tetep sakit =,= Bener-bener deh butuh Tuhan banget, cos sharing ke orang tetep rasanya gitu2 aja. Hehehe. Kalo dipikir-pikir, kenapa ya kali ini rasanya susah bener. Sebelum2nya pacaran kok ok2 aja, bisa last bertaon2 then putus jg bisa bae2 malah ampe pernah jadian lagi (malah sekarang dideketin lagi =_=) hahaha kenapa skarang jadi susah begene. Apa mungkin karena komunikasi kurang terbuka kali yaa..kalo yang dulu bisa berantem dan baikan in 1 hour time, hmm..knp yang sekarang ga bisa ya..heran deh..mungkin iya gw salah, tapi menurut gw dia juga salah. Dan herannya kenapa dihubungan sebelumnya bisa dua2nya ngalah, yg sekarang malah ga ada yg mau ngalah -_- Duhh,, heran deh apa karena efek kelamaan single then jadi agak kaku lagi pas ngejalanin, hehe pastinya ga sih.. ^^"
Yah tapi mungkin emang kurang cocok aja ato karna masing2 juga kurang punya pandangan yg dewasa ngejalanin hubungan ini jadi emang uda ga bisa dipertahankan lagi. Karena kalo ngeliat temen2 yang laen kok mereka tambah mesra, even in LD sekalipun then kenapa kita engga, hehehe, I dunno, tapi yah uda jadi, uda lewat, dan kayaknya ga bakal terulang lagi. I remember other says that the distance is to prove how far ur love can go, another says that the power of love conquers everything. Jadi ya sekarang gw ambil kesimpulan kalo kekuatan cinta gw ama dia kurang kuat deh buat ujian ini hehe. Yasudalah begitu saja. Lewatin aja.
Ntar lagi valentine, pengen deh nyiapin yg khusus, tapi kayaknya taon depan lagi baru bisa ngasih. Oh ya lagian imlek tgl 14 denk, bisa ngumpul2 ma sodara2. Dan bulan maret.. pendaftaran SOT uda dibuka donnkkkk,,duh pengennyaaa, tapi sekarang malah jadi agak males balik sg. Makanya ntar mau maen2 ke jakarta aja dan mudah2an bisa nyampe KL yah kalo dikasih waktu lebih panjang lagi ama papa buat liburan *swt* Lagian emang disini belom bisa ditinggal lama2. Susah juga sih. Trus April Mei Juni, ga tau ga ada rencana, mau nyari kursus aja biar ga suntuk (amiiin) trus mau apply kuliah aja disini dan ato kalo bisa keluar lagi. Kali bulan segitu uda bisa ditinggal yang disini hehehe (amiinn deh) ada yang ngajakin ke jkt, ada yang manggil balik sg, ada yang minta ke oz, ada juga blg ke cina..huaaa gw pengen semuanya ehehe tapi tergantung sikon deh sama apa maunya Tuhan. Selama gw mampu, dan pastinya dan harusnya gw mampu. Haha, jujur kalo sekarang gw uda ngerasa ga mampu, pertama kalinya disakitin kayak gini, beneran ini pukulan berat, tapi in fact, masih bisa senyum juga ternyata :) Dia uda ngirimin orang2 yang tepat buat ngibur, Dia uda ngasih kesempatan yg indah buat gw, tinggal tergantung gw nya mau enjoy apa engga (kayak cerita nafa urbach gitu deh hehe XD) yah bisa dikata sekarang luka masih basah, tapi pasti ntar kering juga kok dan sembuh. Hehe pastinya. dan gw punya Yesus as back up. Pasti bisa :)

Saturday morning

2010-01-09T10:03:00.001+08:00

When I feel a part of me is gone, another has found a new part. When I still keep the memory, another has started a new story. When I try to support, another try to kill. When I still missing, another is having. When I try not to show, another on purpose show it to me. I really can't fight this, I am so hurt. Why does somebody keep doing this to me? But now I have no longer right to speak. So I wish not to see anymore. I wish this is the really good bye, I was keeping the hope but another cuts it away, and my best-wishes that everyone will have a happy life very soon.
This is the way of people, lots of way, to forget, to have a happy life, to move on.
And every people has their time. Maybe my time has not come yet. I choose not to see, I refuge to know that world. Let me live in my world.

2010

2010-01-05T11:28:00.001+08:00

Tadinya, karna alesan konyol aneh gw, masuk taon 2010 agak agak ga semangat gitu, I didn't feel something much about to change in my life. But then, tutup taon aja I start feel the excitement. Oh man, now, I am really excited for 2010!
After all I've been through on 2009, can I say that I am stronger? yes I am :)
Here I share some thoughts,
bahwa ketika kita masuk taon yang baru, semua orang tanpa terkecuali, harusnya sih punya something new that have to change or developed. Emang sih, walopun ada yang ngeles like, "ah lebai, taon baru yang beda juga cuman taonya doank, more than it rasanya biasa aja, tetep aja sama." yah memang sih dipikir pun emang sama, tapi apa mau kita tetep sama kayak kemaren2? minimal, mumpung ini ada momentnya, kenapa enggak gitu lho kalo emang mau berubah. Yang sebenernya teorinya tuh, tiap hari juga is a brand new day to start new, tapi karena kurang momentnya aja jadi rasanya belom mau. Kan?
Me myself personally, feel different sih, mungkin ini efek ketika lingkungan hidup and ur life style (mau ga mau) juga berubah. But thank God, itu banyak ke positif nya sih.
My friend once ever told me, it's his opinion about me (sori bukan mo pamer, ini sharing) "lu childish, tapi lu dewasa" lah?apa maksud coba?tapi, without pura2 bego, gw ngerti sih maksudnya. In the other side, gw emang childish, I don't like a complicated thing to be thought and jujur, gw gampang percaya ama orang, masih polos and pure, and I didn't know that until I arrived here (my hometown). Ternyata jadi orang baik aja ga cukup, jadi orang polos tidak menguntungkan. Walopun kata temen gw itu, "tapi itu jadi daya tarik lu" hmm, unfortunately, I don't think so. Mungkin iya, jadi daya tarik, daya tarik orang buat dimanfaatkan gitu? ga mau lah ya kalo kebaikan kita di sia-siain. So, I push my self to understand, deeper about a human thought in this daily life. This is I called, and I believe, the process to be mature. The nature will press ur self automatically change ur mind set from the stage of innocent up to the better one. Dan skarang gw nyadar, polos tuh means kepala kita kurang ada isinya. Tapi ketika kita uda mulai belajar tentang hidup, and u start to know the truth of this life, uda mulai tau dan ada pengalaman. Eit, gw kepanjangan sharing nih.
Yah intinya sih, di taon baru ini, apapun itu, gw mau berubah. Kenapa gw tiba-tiba ngomong begini, mungkin karena itu lah, taon baru, umur udah nambah, tanggung jawab terhadap diri sendiri itu makin ada dong harusnya. Memang iya, ampe taon lalu, gw masih bisa bangun jem 12 siang, bobonya jem 5 subuh. Dan mungkin iya, itu karena ampe tengah taon lalu gw masih student, jadi bisa kayak gitu. But I believe to my self, mau skarang masih skolah pun ato engga, pikiran gw pasti ampe kesini kok. Dari masih di singapore aja gw uda niat, blom keterusan sih, ampe akhirnya disini. Lumayan nunjang soalnya dengan kewajiban disini. Yah, itu cuma contoh kecil. Tapi, kenapa engga kita mulai dari diri sendiri, iya ga? toh akhir2annya kita juga yang untung.
In conclusion, ngutip kata2 nya ps Tan, we have to set a SMARTER goals, which are must be: specific, measurable, action plan, realistic, time conscious, expectation management/plan B, revelation.
Let's live a better life yuks from now onwards, to make a better future of cos :)))

I got to say this!

2010-01-04T23:40:00.000+08:00

I did not mean to under estimating some people. Actually I am seriously sad. Now I'm still sad and I thank God cos there are a lot things could cheer me up. But, let me straight something. That a broken-hearted girl is so hard to start new very soon.
Don't stay with me if u hope for something more. Cos it could stressed me out even more. I do feel alone, I need a companionship, and without granted.
I don't feel any pride, if every day, every night I got any good morning and nights texts on my phone, or a call just to check me out every single minute. I do appreciate it, but nothing more than it I could ever give. Maybe not now, but still look up for tomorrow. Besides, there are many not any out there. I'm still searching for the best :)

Some random that has end

2010-01-04T23:35:00.002+08:00

It was tragically sad to know there is an end in front of u, while the other seems like have no end. I'm telling u a story that has just end. In the other side, in my case, without that end u may not moving through. Believe me that is the way to move forward. And to be honest, I'm really sad. I just have no choice. Listen guys, I'm talking about an end that must be done. But the worst part is, when u see that another party cut that end to a new brand start. While u urself, stuck and did not do anything. Haha. Confused? Don't worry. Today I'm a bit random, when I am emotionally stressed. But anyway, out of my stressed, that, outside so many chance to start new, was just I don't think so. It's even getting complicated when u realize that somebody got stuck on u just because u try to be nice to them. It is tiring and boring and disturbing when u have to face their wrong respond to u. I wish I could say thank you for the effort to cheer me up, unfortunately it did not work at all, but, oppositely.
Fellaz.. I'm now under hopelessness actually, but it could be beaten by your busyness and fruitfulness day. However, this is what I want since first I thought. So.. after finally it could be done, just get the beat and move forward. Stay focused! I believe there are so good so nice story in my days. Thanks for reading this no point written. Hopefully u understand, that I've just gave up on my relationship. It will last forever, here in my memory :)
Thank You Lord!

2010

2010-01-02T22:45:00.001+08:00

I know what my heart wants, I know where it goes. I am ready, seriously.

Quick View

2009-12-31T00:26:00.001+08:00

haha lately I was too busy to surf the net in my spare time. Rest seems like the best idea to do :)
Yeah, actually I am tired, but it is truly bring peace I love being busy and fruitful, it feels better than when u are just playing around.
And I do really have a bunch of story since christmas, so many thought I want to share, but then the wind blows it away by the end of the day. Haha
Lately, a mysterious person irritated me. Call me all day and night, and when I picked up the phone it just... no sound. Grrrrr
And my best friends are coming, unfortunately I still haven't meet them yet becos my time is so limited, I don't even reply their text (God have mercy on me) So I'm going to see them after new year's activity. Have to!
Anyway, forget about all those things, I'm doing fine here. Nothing to be worried about :)

just

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2010! =)

More days off?

2009-12-13T15:59:00.001+08:00

God wants me to know that:
"You're chasing in the wrong field. What you are looking for is inside of you, not 'out there'. Take a few days off to become quiet and look within, and you will find it."

Maybe it was right. I was chasing in the wrong field. I know lately I've been so bad (according to what I feel) and I totally don't know what's going on with me. What do I supposed to find inside me myself? Oh God, I'm totally blur off and perhaps I need more days off, I really do need it. While nobody could ever help me beside me alone. Oh God.. I need guidance.

God Wants Me to Know

2009-12-09T12:54:00.001+08:00

Today, you should celebrate what an unbelievable life you have had so far: the accomplishments, the many blessings, and, yes, even the hardships because they have served to make you stronger. Just as a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor can a life be perfected without trials. Take a time to acknowledge your life and to praise yourself.

Lagi Males

2009-12-09T12:03:00.000+08:00

Musuh terbesar dalam hidup kita? ya, itu memang diri kita sendiri. Kalo lagi dalam masalah, kalo lagi dikejar-kejar deadline, kalo emang urusan dah numpuk, dipikir-pikir kita emang ga bisa lari kemana-mana lagi beside got to finish it! Ke dugem? nyemoke? matiin hape? buat apaa..itu namanya lari dari tanggung jawab dan masalah malah tambah numpuk. Jadi, kenapa harus lari? ya karena diri kitalah yang bilang kalo kita lari aja. Itulah sebabnya musuh terbesar kita itu diri kita sendiri. Taklukin dulu diri kita then kita bisa taklukin orang-orang di sekitar kita. Yah emang segala sesuatu dimulai dari hal terkecil dalam diri kita.
Humm, emang kalo ngomong itu gampang. Ngelakuinnya susah pisannn!!! Haha. Sekarang contohnya, kenapa saia bisa ngeblog? karena saia lagi hiding, males banget niih ketemu orang-orang, padahal ada aja yang nungguin. Kenapa ya begitu? huhuhu aku pengen jalan-jalan tanpa beban pikiran tapi kok orang-orang pada ga mikirin itu ya? Let me free even for a day please.
Semalem sate, kata Papi "J", "gapapa, ini ga lama kok, ini cuma sementara kok, dan pasti jerih payahmu ga sia-sia." Emang, aku mau percaya, mauu banget, tapi tetep aja kalo uda ketemu reality lagi, oh God, aku down lagi. Kayaknya iman aku terbang jauh lagi. Jadi sekarang, hari ini aja, pengen deh hidup tanpa di iming-iming tekanan. Hahaha. Rese nih, dunia is so extremely extreme. Kalo lagi ga ada kerjaan, nganggur nya kebangetan, kalo lagi sibuk juga banget banget. Maybe the angles must learn ilmu management gitu ya biar ga bakal rebek hidup manusia ini. (ngaco, red)

Let It Be His Time

2009-11-10T00:31:00.000+08:00

Have u ever think about suicide? I was once, thinking about it every single day. Without considering the effect, thinking whatever. Imagine how stressed I was.
But I've learned something thru this opportunity: do not decide something too quickly and in a hurry condition of a high emotion. It won't be a good decision ever.
Just face it with a lil patience (bcos I'm not a patient) and u'll see some moving of ur life wheel. U'll find many way out. And it talks about time. Bcos, we know, everything has its limit. Whether u did it perfectly or not, in effort or even whatever, sooner or later u'll pass it. Believe me. Just hold on for a moment.
Today, I don't care what people say, I'm happy to be myself, grateful to be here, at least God never leave me and it's powerfull u know, my life keep to be good with a lil difference. He gave me chances to enjoy something that u may not? Who knows :) and tommorrow? It must be great, I might be worth the waiting. And of course He knows when the best time of it :)

Maturity

2009-10-30T17:39:00.000+08:00

Maturity is not only about growing old but it also about growing up, how ur personality fit with ur age.
Being mature, not for show to people only, but it is for urself first. And I was thinking that being mature is all about be independent; u can handle ur things well, decide ur own decision and be consistent, not depend on people (try not to make other people too busy for our business), be kind to people, knowing the right and the wrong, do ur responsibilities well, etc..etc. Sounds perfect huh? Becos of that idealism of mine, then I forget something which is also shown maturity, that, not everything will be goin as well as we planned, not everything I want I will get, and not every wish come true at the moment. When I look back and think, I saw my immaturity when I couldn't get the things that I want, when all my plans are not work as I want and my only hope is gone. Been whining all the time, pouting like I blame anything, and being whatever to myself.
It was really shown my immaturity and spoiled people. I just thinking that my future is only as I've planned before. I forgot that in the bible, God has said that "My plan is not ur plan. It is above all thoughts that human could imagine.." My focus is all about my life purpose which I created myself, been so self-centered for those reason. Gaby!u gotta stop this..
I know there something must be changed. Something is not forever the same. Something must be developed and something must be left. I remember my friend's quote "we need to be broken. we need to be molded. we need to be soft clay in the hands of our almighty." If this is the time, the greatest have yet to come!:)
C'mon! Learn to be better and mature with urself Gab!

Hmm..by the way I need to get some advices from u guys if there any. Feel free to comment :)

Tole Keke and Alo

2009-10-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

Akhir-akhir ini lagi freak abis sama kura-kura. Since I have been staying back in Indonesia, my interest of animal increased. Haha! I started loving dog, turtles, even CAT!! Haha.. Actually just got another two cats in my house. So tiny..so small and CUTE!! Just like my turtles. Few mins ago just brought another lil tiny brazil-turtle, named ALO. Hahaha. So now I have 3 brazil turtles in my house, they are Tole, Keke and Alo.
Yahh..they were so cheering me up on my spare time at home. At least I've got something I can play with. Sounds pitty? I am not! As long as I like it. Hohoho
Mm..kata koyon (sumber terpercaya) si kuya, pagi tuh mesti dijemur about 10-15 mins, makan sayur oke, trus ga boleh dibawa jalan2 keseringan ntar bisa memperpendek umur, trus harus rajin bersihin "kandangnya". Hihi so far statusnya: terlaksana.
Katanya juga si kuya ini bisa membesar dan mulai menggigit. Sampai saat itu tiba, I'm gonna take the best care of them till they're getting bigger, boring and start bitting then I'm gonna give them to somebody who interested. Haha. Am I wrong doing that? Who cares! ;P

Bahasa Manado

2009-10-22T23:06:00.000+08:00

Well..lately I just realized some of manado doubled-words are funny! Let me share some..
- somu-somu = mendung = cloudy
- cigi-cigi = jambak = pull the hair
- boto-boto = capung = dragonfly
- rie-rie = jangkrik = cricket
- tikus-tikus = kesemutan = cramp
- gula-gula = permen = sweets
- dabu-dabu = sambel = chilli
- uru-uru = pijat = massage

Haha! How was it? Isn't it funny! I actually forget abit, but so far the words are still reached.

These are another:
- rado = rampas = seize
- kuleto = cubit = pinch
- capeo = topi = hat
- ondo = timang = carry (mm..apa yah yg lebih tepat?)
- suntung = cumi-cumi = squid
- hela = tarik = pull
- tola = dorong = push
- sorong = minggir = move to the edge

Hahah! Orite. For ur info these words are not used as dialy words anymore by most of people. But there are some who are still. While I'm writing these words, I do laugh! Haha it is funny tho, even for me but it's nice and easy to understand!

Life is Good

2009-10-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

Mm..tiap hari itu sebenernya ada tekanannya. Tiap hari pasti deg-degan sama hal2 baru. Tapi yah itu yang bikin kita tiap hari tambah tougher. Kayak ada istilah "experience is the best teacher". Emang sih, rather than just hear or see, ngerasain sendiri bikin lebih belajar. Hmm, itulah hidup. Penuh dengan hal-hal baru, or in proper, life is long-term lesson. Haha.
Everything does change, instead of the changing itself. Karena semuanya berubah, maka belajar itu ga ada habisnya.
Dan rasanya dalam belajar itu ga ada kata gagal harusnya. No matter how many times we've fail, mau ga mau we've to get through it! Iya kan? Dan pasti ada hasilnya. Tinggal, bagaimana usaha kita. Ya, ga ada kata gagal adanya berusaha!
Bulan-bulan ini rasanya masih berat sih. Tapi untungnya tiap hari ada yang baru. Kadang tekananya dateng ampe berhari2. Kadang langsung beres. Hmm, tapi oke kok. Belajar buat belajar. Tiap kasus ada hikmahya. Toh yang gini2 juga nambah wawasan juga buat investasi masa depan. Hahah. Makin ga dipikirin makin menarik hidup ini!

Working

2009-10-20T13:22:00.000+08:00

Can I just be my self? Geezz.. Sometime, work life din make me happy or grateful. Haha, I feel sometime I kill my character. Too innocent only make me like a fool. Business world sometime so evil and now I learn to be clever like a snake. Hahah..what dya think? Deep inside my heart I still want to go bible school..
Base on the reality, can I still dream bigger than this? Haha...I even asked, will He laugh when I tell Him about my future plan? J. Rachmat ever said to design our life, so how is it? If God already designed it for us.. Haha. Orite. I dunno. I learn to be tougher and hopefully I'm not gonna stuck here for ever. Amen.
Remember that I'm now setting a new goal? Uum..my goal is to learn flowing with God's plan. Is it okay if I say it a goal? Haha..yeah..apa boleh buat, buat apa yg blh.. Hahah, I'm now trying even harder to love my job, love my life! Enjoy ajaa hahah

Client

2009-10-15T08:13:00.002+08:00

A.R. Bernard quotes:
"If u've never experienced the pain of wrong decision, u'll never celebrate wisdom in ur life"
Today I let one of my client gone just because I'm in half to gambling with my analysis. Ha ha finally I didn't make a good deal at all. Alright, this is my first case having unsatisfied client in hand. It supposed to be a common case in business world I just feel a bit upset with my self of not being obedience with the rules. Feel like what Einstein said about be a man of purpose rather than a man of success. Guess I know how it feels! Umm..orite, pain today a wisdom for tomorrow:)

Birthday

2009-10-13T23:32:00.003+08:00

Oct 9 was my birthday, this year the first time I felt like don't wanna skip my birthday at all. Doesn't matter with the presents, just hope I have some friends here to celebrate with. I was really lonely that time, knowing that everyone were not here. But then, God just knew it. Ha ha! Never be the same with what I've thought before. It was so awesomely sweet. I got my lovely people around me (without forgetting my bf of cos) ;P
Daddy came back home on time, together with my best friend, Chris, and brought me a blackberry storm which I never imagine to be real (ha ha cos I was asking another type of phone) and my birthday night was my fav part! Couldn't tell it openly. It was too sweet to be published. Thank God for the sweet gift!:)
Oh ya, thank to my bf and friends for the rest wonderful gifts I've received. But actualy my birthday will never be complete without your (aka. all my friends) caring and loving for me, while the gifts are only a lil more extra :) and thank U God, You are the best :)
My wishes in this officially 19th,to be more patient, wiser, and even tougher to live this tough life, to be REAL! Gotta set all the new goals up and keep it fresh in mind with spirit and hope! Yosh! I can do it :)

Fellowship

2009-10-07T12:07:00.001+08:00

Again, my mind is blown up. I really have so much times to think about so many things.
Fellowship. I was reading a book, the most popular book of Rick Warren, "Purpose Driven Life". There is written about fellowship, and that time I was skipping out the chapter. Why? Because I dont feel the true of it. In fact, I left cg after it is done, and oftenly thingking that fellowship is killing time especially when that was a deadline week. But anyway, I'm not trying to say that I hate fellowship. No no no.. I mean, I used to have that point of view. I totally changed it, I knew its benefit already.
Fellowship is one package with cg. Cg alone is still half-done of cg itself. When u go to cg or any religion meeting or whatever-it-is-called meeting, u got only the theory, the practise is when u are going to fellowship with people.
Fellowship could help u to find ur life purpose, it also helps u to bigger ur dream and expand ur vission. With them u could dig up ur potential optimally. You'll keep on burning with God. Simple, it keeps u in the right path of ur life. They are the most significant gift God had ever given.
Huaaa talking bout fellowship made me shattered. I'm in the miss of my home cg!! So missing S43 a lot!

On HIGH

2009-10-06T22:55:00.000+08:00

Haha lagi2 ada coretan ngawur kayak postingan sebelumnya, yah itulah serunya ngeblog! It was just some crazy expression in the mid of the day!
Tonite I got something that slap me out of that crazyness. Haha
Sometimes we just focus on what we dont have, while gratitude on what we have is making much much better. Well well, again, this is a lesson to be grateful for what we are and what we have.
Yeah, start asking God for what is this happening for, rather than just whining why are these things happened. Haha by the way, I'm not trying to say that I'm whining (again) lately, in fact I'm so enjoying these days ;D haha perhaps I need to describe it in a better way, hihi!
Uuuu I wanna more and more burning eh! So grateful for today, I rejoice yay! ^^

Eyy and tonite I want to SHOOOOUUUUUTTT!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!! Hahahaha

Coretan Sempurna

2009-10-06T12:34:00.004+08:00

Hmm,,mimpi..
Pernah ga sih ditanyain tentang mimpi? Hmm, kalo ditanya tentang mimpi, gw ga bisa jawab. Mungkin gw cm bakal ngeles, "mimpi cuma buat orang yg slalu tidur..dan gw disini lagi berjuang buat hidup. Haha"
Ga tau deh..gw ini sebenernya tipe yg agak perfeksionis. Gw suka something yg sempurna, yg emang harusnya gitu. Dulu, waktu kecil gw pengen slesein skolah gw sampe degree and that's it, kerja (jadi animator), berkarya, ketemu jodoh, merit, bangun usaha, jadi bos, punya anak, yah happy ending lah pokoknya. Simple! Haha dan gw sadar, perfeksionis gw terlalu sosial. Ga selalu perfek itu ngikutin aturan biar dimata orang bagus. Hidup, hidup gw. Mau gw bikin perfek aja ala gw. Haha!
Kalo skarang, gw ikutin hidup ajalah, kemana berlabuhnya. Toh semua ada yang ngatur, mau belok kanan tapi jalanya lurus ya ga bisa! Haha kayaknya gw butuh mimpi baru nih, or lebih tepatnya gol baru. Feel like keeping something that's not mine. Skarang gw sedang enjoy2nya ga skolah, uda kerja, tapi bukan hasil usaha sendiri, jadi blom ngerasain susahnya nyari duit, punya duit tapi ga punya mimpi mo diapain. Hahaha perfek aja! Gw enjoyyy....

"Expect nothing, live frugally on surprises!"

Still (Random)

2009-10-04T10:11:00.003+08:00

It was 14.59 -
I was playing with stuff in my gadget. For once in a life time. Accidentally. I found, "at the end of the day, it is u, still u, who made up my day."

Revelation

2009-10-04T10:01:00.000+08:00

While sitting in front of a therapy room, my mind flies away.
... ... ...
... ... ...
... ... ...

Just realized. Have u ever heard this phrase:
"more than coquerors" - an interpretation from Rome 8: 37.

Why then it said that we are more than a conquerors?
Let me give u a short illustration:
Let say, there is a man, he has a wife and he is a boxer. So his job is boxing. He produces money with boxing. Someday he is about to join a championship prized some amount of big money. He starts to train hard to win that game. He is really made effort of it.
Till the day's coming, he is now standing on a stage ready to conquer every single rivals. Finally he is worth his hardwork. He won the game and got the money. He is a conqueror.
He went back and bringing the money home. After home, he showed the money to his wife and she took it. He just do nothing. So, it means, his wife is more than a conqueror!

So, don't we similar like that? We have Jesus as a conqueror. He was conquered all for us, so WE ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR! Haha. Honestly, I just realized it and I'm happy I got my own revelation. Hehe :)

A Friend

2009-10-03T08:42:00.001+08:00

After a very long time, I finally met him. My very best friend since my secondary. Haha. What a relief talking with him about lot of things. Many things!
Though it was only about 2 hours we met, but I was really enjoying it cos I could be myself, honestly. Sometimes we keep a secret from some people to keep a better situation, while sometimes for some people u just dont.
Yeah I thank God, He gave me such a good friend for me and thanked be to God again I could be such a good friend for him :)
Chris, I'll see u soon! Have a good flight :D

Some Facts

2009-10-02T17:59:00.000+08:00

Right! Lately I just realized and believed some common things, which only I heard but never I see, such as:

- dog, its food is seriously BONE! Any bones! ;D

- this is not a perfect world, neither the man inside

- this world is getting more and more evil. It comes to worst everyday

- man couldn't live alone, that's why we need friend from the beggining we had created (err..I guess I knew it from the very long time)

- man are complex

- I know why there are people who want to suicide themself

- optimist, focus on opportunities in every situation
Pesimistist, focus on problems in every situation

- man are not forever young ;p

- I admit since I was in sg, I became a lil bit impatient; habit creates a character

- when u feel so nothing u've to open up ur eyes widely and see the world around u and it'll makes u grateful for what u are :)

Reset

2009-09-29T05:17:00.001+08:00

Well..I found that lately my writting was too heavy to read. Feel like whining all the time, so boring. Hmm, it's supposed to be a testimony loving God and people and not myself alone I think :)
Yeah, at the moment, I was feeling and thinking negatively. Now, time to reset my mind, live life positively, full of gratitudes! It could avoid cancer by the way (source: Rev. Gilbert L). Haha.
Hmm, if at SG I could find a lot of happiness in my limitation, why I coudn't get it here with all the facilities?or anywhere I go? It's all only about choice-making :)
God, help me to keep positive no matter what! It wouldn't be easy without You.

"When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple. They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy. But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD." (Jonah 2:7-9)

I'm hiding there

2009-09-25T00:19:00.001+08:00

This is the place where I've been living for the past weeks away, the best place for my mom. I'm so bored!bored!bored! I coudnt do anything and go anywhere. Huwaaa. Thank God the connection is quite good.

Lesson

2009-09-21T11:58:00.000+08:00

Now I knew how does it feel. When u're motivating somebody who is in trouble time or feeling down that time then sometime they hardly accept what u've said, no matter how motivated it is. Now I knew about "fallow ground" as what I've learnt before, and knew what I should do. Again and again, the power of prayer had proven, thousand times in my life. Haha. God is so practical, isn't He? I've had my lesson. Gotta move on to the next chapter. I'm now much much better and start loving my job. Thank God. The wheel is now spinning on its top ;)

Uncertainity

2009-09-20T06:09:00.001+08:00

Now I'm starting ask my self, why did I miss SG so badly? It was so many times I felt bored with that small country. It was so often I wanna get out of there and try live to another country. It was only a place that everyday the same? But, it was also a place when I could really be my self, when I could make my own decision, when I found my freedom as I am and I could find the people as a real fam in Christ. It was a place that keeps my fire burning. I think, it will work the same wherever I was placed for the first time, and SG was the place. Is it possible for me to find my another home here? Which is supposed to be my real home, by the way. So hard to accept that I much possibly stay here more than I've planned before rather than go back there and live as a student again. And, I don't need a reason to get angry to God.
I feel... I live a lifeless life of mine, every time I think about it, I'm so hopeless, sometime I became faithless. Speechless. I want to quit, but I won't.
I don't wanna waste my time any longer, I think. I never ask for this. Maybe I'm gonna try to do my own business while I'm still doing my duty as the oldest child. At least, I have things to do. Start considering to take a break for my ministry. I lost the calling I guess. Till my mom becomes better enough to be left, then I'll leave.
My faith is tested.

Testimony

2009-09-11T03:09:00.004+08:00

Hmm..dibaca ulang, maybe every topic I had written in my blog, is that too religious?I don't know, I just didn't mean to show the world that I am religious, that I'm nice, I'm good enough, or whatever. No, it isn't. It was really come from my inner depth that I really have a great God in the world, that everything I had in my life is because by the grace of God. It was not a joking. This is the story, long before I'm not this serious move with God, I was really hard to find even ONE testimony with God and I was wondering why, doesn't mean that I wasn't blessed. But since I reborn my self, I found thousands and thousands stories of blessing everyday in my life. I became more sensitive with God and that's what I found. Everyday in my life becomes so awesome and more adventure. Since I can't tell it to anybody, my blog is something that could help to share my mind with everything I could possible felt, somehow even people could read it and be blessed? I hope so.

Hmm, I'm always everyday free of job here, too much free time, and today I was exploring my friend's blogs after months never. Long time, I've realized that I have such an awesome friends in my life, after I went around the world (lebay mode ON) and people I met, they were never the same with my friends and everything I found at SG. They are my home. Sorry for being a lil bit too much here, I just want to give my biggest honor, to them who had incredibly colored up my days (sorry for my inability to describe every awesome people in my life here):
City Harvest Church, a community that helped me to met God for the first time in my life and keep me knowing about the words of God. My life would never be the same! *love*
S43, a family where I was come from, and where I was sent. A place where I'm covered with the people of faith and keep me up when I'm down. I'm glad we're such a good happy family. God so blessed me in a very awesome way.
NAFA, my school life begin there. Awesome place to being busy and awesome friends inside could be met to brighten up the days!
Mba Ade, incredibly woman I think in her age hahaha and she helped me a lot, a mommy in my home away.
Ko Yon, a leader and a nice-to-talk-with-brother for me.
Jesslynne, spiritual sister of mine, anointed girl with uniquely personality.
Dinda, haha teman menggila saia, kadang nyambung kadang enggak, tapi saia sayang sama dia buat menggila and still, I know, she needs some person to keep her in a right path.
Farandy, ohmigoss! dunno how to describe but he's a friend in need and inspiring enough ;)
My boyfriend, Willy, so grateful for having him in my life and hopefully he is really from God. I love him :)
and AWESOME JESUS, thanks for everything! such a wonderful plans I've ever had in my life. Thanks for loving me that much. Still excited for the coming ups!

It's good, to be blessed with a bunch of people who supporting you in the right way! Help you to keep your light and shining to the world where wrong seems right.

Love

2009-09-10T02:32:00.001+08:00

It is from Genesis to Revelation, the bible taught about love. And, it such a beautiful thing that God had created. Being loved and loving somebody or anybody such a wonderful thing to do in life. I'm happy to be loved and happy for loving somebody. It's beautiful. See? How I'm happy to know that. Then, I reminded of God's love. Today, if you are still alive, it is because God loves you so much. Then how about us? Me, I want God feels the same with what I'm feeling now. To love and to be loved. When you knew how to love God, then you'll know how to love people in the right way. In love, sometimes, we did sacrifice for the one we love. And yes, Jesus did it two thousands years ago. Now is our turn. Let's be grateful for what we are today and show some love while we are still having this opportunity. Love is so beautiful. I want to love God even more, and pleased Him. Easy! Like what you did to somebody you love no matter what, so does God, He wants to be loved like He used to do and until today He still and will be forever more. Let's show love to Jesus, more deeper in love with Him! =)

1 Cor 13 ~

Today I was talking with one of my best sister in life. Long story but one thing I realized that people made mistakes, and through mistakes people learnt, be stronger, be smarter, growing up! I mean, and yes, people made mistakes but it's never too late with Jesus cos He still loves us badly. Yes! Don't be corrupted with our past, still we can, let's show some love for others and for God. Love is so beautiful thing to be done. Love love love ~

Option

2009-09-09T08:20:00.004+08:00

I just knew why God gives me so many options after struggled in my prayer that possible, is because He wants to test my heart. How big my desire and how serious I'm on it. He wants me to focus on His will where my heart goes. Well, now I'm flowing and wait till the next sign. Stop playing around. Gotta pray more and ask God what is the best choice to be chosen. Kalo dipikir-pikir, why I must be afraid? if it is from God that everything gonna be okay. I will feel no doubt! All right, my story will be continue ;)

By the way, I'm now in Beijing and I was capture a picture: " Gereja Tua Gue Gak Tau Namanya" cos I didn't get any info about this old church when I passed by in a hurry. I love it and the sky, and I miss my SLR!

Wish me

2009-09-07T01:38:00.001+08:00

Have u pray to God? What were u asking for? Has God answered it? or maybe He was silent?
How if God answered it in a difficult way for u to do? or choose? or decide?
I'm doing so. My God, is a rich God. He has anything everything abundantly. That's why He answered my prayer in so many ways, and... and... I don't know what to choose, what to decide, what is the best!!!! Maybe I'm just too afraid of making mistakes. I'm not sure about my life ahead IF I must decide this quickly. I wish I could flow and only flow without have to decide something let God decide it for me. I'm feeling bad to God, cause when He provided my needs I'm postponing to fulfill it myself. I'm hiding.
Sometimes, or maybe anytime, God asks for a sacrifice. And actually, YES, I'm able to do that, sometimes, I just too compromise. How how how.. I'm not ready for that sacrifice. Huwaaaaa....
But I believe, my God is a faithful God, He'll never fail me. YES HE IS! never never fail me, lalalalalalala~
Let see what'll happen next!

"I believe, above all the others....."

Grateful for having Jesus in my life

2009-09-05T21:42:00.005+08:00

It's been a long long time didn't drop by here to leave some writings. I admit I was being very busy and too lazy to write cos it was too much things around to be shared ;p

After months, I'm still feeling it's not easy to be ME, otherwise I'm grateful for what God had given to me so far. After all I know that He is everything beyond my thought. Have u ever knew about this quotation:

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa

Yeah, I just wish that God didn't trust me that much. Sometime I feel like to giving up either with my life or people's life, I wanna live my life like other people do. But, it is God, who made me able to keep standing still after times I have felt. I'm so so grateful.

I've gone through a lot of things lately, and at the end of the day I found no other feeling beside grateful in my heart. I have saw people stuck with their problems, end up with bad things for their life. Made me thinking, made me wondering WHY they could think like that while I never did so? and the answer only cos I have Jesus in my life. I have a different view in my life, above all else I have a BIGGER GOD than every problem in my life, bigger than anything else in this world. With Him, your life will not be the same and THAT'S RIGHT!!!

There will be a time when you're feeling difficult, or facing the hardest times of your life, just believe that there is also a time when you'll look back at it and you just laugh cos Jesus make everything beautiful in a perfect time. Keep pushing forward!

So, if it's you, hey brother and sister, who already have Jesus in your life, you are now in the right path of the way and don't stop being grateful to Him cos everything good if you're depending to Him! =)

He asked to enjoy myself

2009-07-06T13:06:00.001+08:00

I chose not to keep it by my own after I struggled it in my pray. Once I tried to share it, I feel reliefed. God knows what is the best for me to do.
I am so blessed. I'm so grateful. Everything that I have been struggling in just replied by God.

I thank God for I met the people of God who loves me so much like I love them as well.

I chose not to spend my last days here with my sick thoughts but to heal it by enjoying it together with them. Every minutes are precious, I worth it all.

I don't know

2009-07-05T05:42:00.001+08:00

One hour passed since the first time I opened my eyes and it's still dawn in the morning. Nobody's waking up. No one I can talk to. I'm not in the good condition. Feel like living between two world. Body and soul saparated. Lord, I'm hurt.

This is the first time I feel hopeless. I need rest. I wish I could give up or making some postpones?
I want to take a break of this story. Lord, I need You.

I'm so afraid to lose and to loose somebody. God strengthen me.

Again and again, everyday, I want to cry.
I wish to turn the time slowly or faster. To passed these days of difficult.

I know it just about the mindset. I must overcome my mind, in fact, I hardly make it. That's why I feel pain.

Lord I don't want this anymore. I can't stand on this any longer. Lord help me. I'm sick in my thoughts. Heal me.

I pray for today onwards to be good and even better. Put the joy and happiness in my heart in my mind. To keep on positive for the days to come.

Sedih tak berujung

2009-07-04T01:09:00.001+08:00

Pengen cepet cepet balik Indo aja.
Pengen cepet cepet ninggalin singapur.
Pengen cepet cepet putarin waktu kedepan.
Pengen cepet cepet lewatin masa masa ini.

Tuhan, rasanya gebi ga kuat.
Ga kuat ninggalin keluarga disini.
Ga kuat.
Ga kuat.
Ga kuat.

Pengen nangis. Pengen nangis.
Ga kuat.
Ga kuat.
Ga kuat.

Biar Tuhan yg kuatin gebi lebih dan lebih lagi.
Biar Tuhan aja.
Kuatin dan
Kuatin dan
Kuating gebi.
Buat ngobatin luka gebi, ngasih penghiburan sorgawi.

Tuhan kuatin gebi.

Gebi minta kekuatan.
Gebi minta penghiburan.
Gebi minta hikmat bijaksana.

Dan
Gebi mau bersyukur buat semuanya.
Semuanya!
Yang udah dikasih Tuhan.
Bekal bekalnya.
Karunia karunianya.
Berkat berkatnya.

Sampai hari ini, gebi bersyukur untuk apapun juga.
Bersyukur ketika gebi diutus.
Bersyukur atas kepercayaan Tuhan.
Bersyukur atas rencana indah Nya.

Gebi cuma minta kekuatan buat pikul salib gebi.
Terima kasih Tuhan.

God's plan

2009-07-02T22:46:00.002+08:00

It has been a month I skip blogging. I want you guys to know that many things happened. I've gone through a lot of pressuring time. There are times when I was really struggling with my life and hard to take the biggest decission of it. It was tiring and painful. But always one thing for sure: God is good in all the time.

It just about the timing. When it comes to the perfect time then it'll be so beautiful. Things just came to past.

God's plan always the best.

No matter how hard we tried, how perfect we planned, how good our effort, God's plans always be done. Then we learnt how to surrender to God.

Now I'm on the zero stage of my life. When He took all of the pleasures of my life, and feeling so hopeless, no future ahead, must letting go things I love and especially the people, I feel beaten by this world and overcame by my surroundings till I feel want to give up and very disappointed with Him, I want to scream as loud as I could, jumping, shouting, crying, anything! Yet I feel nothing. But then I'm thinking to have a mental of champion (1 Cor 10:13); to keep on believing for a great future ahead (yer 29:11) that He has provided me things I've asked in the right time.
I remember the time He said, "Bahwa rancanganKu bukan rancanganmu, itu adalah rancanganKu atasmu dan bukan atas orang lain."

Even when it's painful, I chose to trust God wholeheartedly cause when He turns you down means He will lift you up even higher than where you are now, if you keep on holding His promises. And always do that based on love (1 Cor 13).

I'm on the way to the glory of my God my YAHWEH. I love it! =)

Jalan - jalan :D

2009-05-14T12:35:00.014+08:00

Entah kenapa, berjalan itu membuat hati senang (dibanding shopping or movie, yang akhirannya mendatangkan penyesalan) hahahaha. Kemaren berjalan-jalan selama 7 jam (dari jem 4 sore sampe 11 malem) dan hebatnya ga terasa!! Padahal udah muter-muter Bugis - Plasing - Cathay - Pomo - Wilkiedge - SMU - Singapore Museum - Esplanade - Marina Square - Raffles - Peace Center - Cathay - Bugis, from starbucks to starbucks - times to times. Voucher starbucks nya akhirnya kepake dan buku yang aku cari ga ketemu! Dan malemnya rada kerasa sih pegelnya tapi tidur nyenyak, hehehe, anyway, waktu lagi jalan-jalan banyak ketemu barang-barang lucu (for me) dan inilah dia beberapa yang sempet terfoto:

Boneka anjing warnah MERAH, lucu dan imut-imut! hahaha, di timezone nya tampiness mall (abis nganterin temen ke bandara, pagi-pagi, trus mampir ke mall terdekat deh)..

Ini di Singapore Museum, ada tank-tank warna pink yang disusun keatas (dulu uda pernah liat deh kayaknya tapi lupa dimana, hehehe, sekarang malah ada lagi)

Depan Raffles Mall (ato apa yah ?) ada payung-payung yang disusun seperti itu. Blom slese sih, tapi bagus-bagus deh :)

Esplanade - city hall, ada konser instrument musik melayu. Not bad! =)

masih di daerah city hall - capital mall, ada sepatu-sepatu hak tinggi menyerupai kuda (agak serem sih) tapi yah bagus-bagus dan unik... hehehe

Yah, begitulah. Kemaren itu bener-bener banyak yang aku temuin, tapi ada juga yang ga sempet difoto. Hari ini rencananya mo ke popular trus mau nemenin homie ke jurong (yes, jauh!) trus malemnya mau cellgroup ^^

Perfect Time

2009-05-13T01:29:00.006+08:00

Tonight, just noticed an interesting conversation with my junior and some of my high school friends. This is holiday season. Little by little, my friends start getting attached one by one. Kebetulan banget or, maybe, is this cos of holiday? Even the one who seems impossible to be, now is already in relationship. Haha. Then they asked me why I'm still single. Well, what can I say? this is not my time yet while this is the time for others. Anyway it doesn't mean that I never got attached before. haha. I did for some. I just haven't find it yet! It's not that easy for me and, personally, that is something I can't play with, cause it plays a big rule in my life. I have so many reasons to wait. Beside, I don't mind about it a lot this time. Maybe I have to start considering now. But I'm still in recovering stage for what I've gone through in the past. Not easy I told you.

Actually I'm a bit choosy, and because of that, I hurt some friends. I hate to get people hurt and, again, that's why I'm a bit sensitive when talking about my feeling. I'm good enough in controlling emotion indeed and people tend to catch it wrongly. Anyway, I've made used to it.

Talking about having a boyfriend, actually, I refer to the personality first and the appearance go second, of course in context he's still looking good. Though most of the people tend to said "eyes start first, heart secondly", yeah, sometimes it happens to me, unfortunately never beat the heart. What's the point of having an handsome bf while his personality is not good enough for you? For me handsome is a bonus, besides, a value of handsome/beautiful is a relative matter, right? Well the worst is, what's the point of having an ugly bf yet he hasn't a good attitude? Living hell.

Though it's still in a relationship stage, but, I concern about it very seriously. For me, it needs a wisdom and involves God in (He rights our life), cause if not, even LOVE could be a trap from satan. I've learnt my lesson. I have had a boyfriend, lasting for already years (and maybe it could be till now), but then God said no to me so I've to end it up. It hurts, really. But simply, I believe that time is not a proper time of mine, I chose God's way, I chose Him in my first place. In some people's cases, they get afraid to be lost, or maybe faithless, then they hard to choose between God and a men. But actually, if we believe, God really provides the best for us wherever He guides us to be.

I pray for my future spouse (whoever he'll be), cause however, a girl always concerns about it. I even pray it for detail (Mat 7:7). The top few points of it is, I want someone who is wise, faithful, humble, mature-minded, optimistic, nice to people, godly, success, and of course good-looking. More detail is only my secret with Daddy ;)

I believe His time always perfect! :)

Untitled

2009-05-11T18:31:00.015+08:00

Things change. People come people go in our life. I prefer things just like the way they are, sometimes. I hate to be separated from people I love. It might affects my mood very bad. Maybe I can cover it but still it won't last longer. I will be so quite for some times or smiling could be so hard for me, even sometimes I pretend to be careless and don't know about things that I already knew (bad thing huh?). But it won't last any longer as well. Yeah, I like the way I am. Sometimes to letting the mellow side of me come out for a while is not that bad. What dya think? ;)

By the way it's monday! just found nice quotes from Dennis Ritchie (another fav author of mine):

Monday gives me a whole week to plan a great Friday.

Monday is all potential. I haven't had the chance to mess anything up yet.

Monday is the day of the week from which things will only get better.

Great isn't it? hope it inspiring you all! Burn this week shall we? :)

Phil 2:13 NLT
For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

Target Holiday

2009-05-10T12:48:00.006+08:00

Wow! Now I have a lot of time to do anything I want! Bingung kan jadinya. Haha.

But first thing first is always grateful to God for everything He did in every days of my life. I believe the power of prayers and I chose to look upon my life with eyes of faith. My ISP days, He really guides me then finally I can finished it on time. And when the presentation day comes, He really really stands beside me till everything feels so relaxing. Even the questions sound so silly for me and still I can answered it. Haha. God is so good all the time. I believe for the result will be great. I have the favor of God. I did my best, God do the rest. I'm expecting a good result of course (1 Pet 1 : 13).

I don't feel like I want going home this holiday. But I have to. Mom suddenly canceled her visitation here, and asked me to go back. Now, I'm running to find a cheap ticket, not really easy to find huh. But anyway, I believe something good will happen there. I believe where God guides He provides. I'm so excited! Haha

This holiday, I'm planning to have some profitable activities. I mean, something that able to improve up my skill (any area). Learn something I don't know. Some has already appeared on my mind like, language? more software? business? general issues? sport? music? I have to hit those things when I spend my holiday (Philip. 4:13), and another things I've planned such as spend quality time with family, relatives, friends or maybe having a boyfriend? haha. Yah, pokoknya apapun itu, I know something really fun really great really awesome will come.

My holiday will be counted. A lil prayer that I always say in every single hour of my day, "use me oh God wherever I am. Let Your will be done." That makes my life always fulfilled at the end of the day :)

Well gotta go for sunday service. Have a blessed sunday everyone!:D

Psalms 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

1M

2009-05-09T12:44:00.008+08:00

May 7, 2009

is my assessment day in this semester. You know what's that mean? the next 3 hours is HOLIDAY!! Wow I'm excited man! But at the same time, it ends my journey as the member of 1M! I'm sad. All I can say only good bye and nothing I can do. We're moving on, closer to our destiny. We were classmate but we are mate forever. Happy to be with you 1M and happy to being involved.

These are some pictures taken by Clement Tan.

The rest pictures you can see in this link 1Mblog

Mission Complete

2009-05-05T19:02:00.005+08:00

Halo everyone! Ternyata menyisakan bagian ngeprint di hari terakhir itu bener-bener melelahkan (emang sistem nyicil udah yang paling efektiffff). Aku butuh pijitan seorang master di kaki nih. Hahahahahahahahaha. Pegel uy! And still gotta go to help my friend soon :)

Hmm, I don't know why, hahaha, but it feels joy that I can did it by myself (anak mami udah gede uy!HAHA) and of course it was not by my power alone but because of my beloved Father above! (Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Daddy!) XD

Actually, this morning, He was gently reminded me that He will always be by my side. No worries! Never be afraid of something! Everything's gonna be alright! and sure it does!=D

Philippians 4:6-7

Job 3:25

Well, look back for awhile, I was reminded of a conclusion on Sunday's service sermon, that if we want to be success in our life, we have to have a destination of life. Then we can start to plan our life. Manage every single thing we do and value every second of our life. Of course with self-commitment and we must take action to worked it out! At the end of the day we would have a counted day, a productive day! Isn't it sounds great?

It simply start with our daily life first, set a goal for every day of our awakening. Then it will flow to a great goal for our future.

Learnt from my today, I was targeting to finish things up by this evening, so that I can help my friends to finish hers. Then, me, automatically start to plan things what must I did in every single hour of mine, so, I can hit the goal on time, and by the way, I finished it earlier than what I've planned. HA-HA-HA

Senjata pemungkas terakhirnya adalah DOA followed by FAITH! GEBI BAKAL DAPET A! A! A! A! A! A! A! A! A! lalalalalalala :D kalo dapet A+ thanks God banget deh, dapet bonus tuh dari Papaku yang Maha Baik. Hehe ;)

Me, actually, have set goals for this year. I really do try to work it out. Today, some of my goals have already done and some are still on the way to be done (surely it will be done), though sometimes I missed the day and let the opportunities gone, I lost my self-commitment. But I believe I can live better each days, strengthen my commitment =D

Maybe I'll post it out by the end of this year (LOLS, still a long way to go) =D

Ok deh.

Mau siap2 dulu deh buat ke tempat temen. Huahuahauahaua. Capek pisaaannnn! mana singapur panas lageh. Tapi tetep mantep lah :D

Bai bai

My Silly Action :p

2009-05-04T00:42:00.008+08:00

Well, it's now 00:42 on my clock appearance. I don't know what I am doing now.

Don't ask me why. Ok?!

I'm stuck, I'm bored, I'm not sleepy, I'm excited of nothing, and I'm well.

I love to sing in the middle of the night!LOLS

and I broadcast it in my page, I don't know what I'm doing now.

HAHAHAHAHAHA

I even didn't sing that time. Only "mmm..nanana..lalalala,,and so on"

and I know, I can't play guitar very well. HARAP MAKLLUM

anyway,

OHMYGOD!I'm tired. Gotta rush finish my project, so that I can sing better than this! :D

So lame!!!!!!!! XD

ps. buat temen2 gw yg nonton ini, jangan tanyain gw kenapa begeneh. Jawabannya sih karena ini efek assessment yang bikin gw bohwat. Dari yang paling alergi video skarang malah narsis merekam diri sendiri. Hahahaha. Lu pada jijay? gw juga koq XP hahahaha. Sorry gw lagi high maannnnnn! jadi ga peduli apa kata dunia lalalala ;D

ntar kali, kalo rada normalan dikit, postingan ini akan lenyap. Mending enjoi selagi masih bisa haha!

pengabadian moment aneh gw wakakakakaka :D

Encouragement for today

2009-05-02T13:57:00.003+08:00

Simply want to share something, which is so blessed me, I hope you guys feel the same.

In times of need, God sends ordinary men and women with extraordinary vision. You are extraordinary men and women of God.

God doesn't call us to do things in our own strength. Then we wouldn't need him.

God stretches us beyond our abilities to show his glory.

by Superkingdom

Discipline enables you to think first and act second - Joyce Meyer

Eliminate distractions today. How much more could you get done without any distractions? Have a productive day! - Ericka D Jackson

Brave and smart is better than only brave - Dennis Ritchie

Prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Pet 1:13

Have a nice day everyone! Today Steve Munsey is going to preach ini city harvest church! So excited!

My Thought

2009-05-02T01:32:00.005+08:00

I know, these few weeks I was made too many excuses to my self for my assessment's sake. Maybe cause I was too afraid to fail, or should I say myself KIASU? according to my friend's theory it means afraid to lose. Indeed, I am! and these few weeks passed, I know I was stepped unwisely. Focus in my assessment is a good thing, that's just right (I'm student indeed). But, thing that fail me is I've deify it! Today I just realized. I didn't come to my cellgroup fellowship, I paid regret for it, and blaming my assessment. OH MY! I've sacrificed my cellgroup instead of my almost-done-assessment. My thought made me so (and I still have some more quite similar things).

Tonight, I got the answer of why these weeks just made me very bored and a bit 'dry' otherwise I keep doing my quite-time. Because, I put my assessment above all things, everything! Looks like I've been good enough cause doing my work, or it could not be done till the deadline is coming (I am too afraid OHMAIGAT). Actually, I'm on the way to kill my self if I keep thinking like that. I'm getting careless to other (so self-centered OH NO THAT'S NOT ME!) and just focus to finish my work (how bad of me!) Now, my work just almost done and I didn't really get the pleasure of it though I've tried to make it excellently. Less-productive, that's it! I made my self unavailable to be used by God. Lend hands to the needy.

Feel guilty? Yes, I did.

But I'll not stay in this stage of guiltiness. I'm moving on. Blaming my self will never could solve any problems occurred. Yesterday is a lesson to be practiced TODAY even better. I'm still in the same responsibility that need to be done wisely.

Yeah, this is my assessment week, I do busy. Surely I'm doing it and wish for a good result (of course) but will be even wise to manage everything. To be willing help another, supporting and anything I could done. First start with my thought.

Things that seem impossible to be done by human are possible to God BUT of course we have to do things that are possible to be done. We have to take a try first, today I was fail but tomorrow is a brand new day. We can live better each days! :D

As he thinks within himself, so he is - Proverbs 23 : 7

In everything he did he had great success, because the Lord was with him - 1 Samuel 18 : 14

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succed - Proverbs 16 : 3

Post Kilat

2009-04-30T10:55:00.001+08:00

This morning, before I went to school, which is only 5 minutes away from my house, I was checked out my twitter. I found these which is encourage me so.

Anger is just one letter short of danger. Anyone who angers you conquers you.

The solution to our pain is the we must get right with God.

How can we bless God and then curse man at the same time out of the same mouth; blessing and cursing.? James 3:9,10

by Superkingdom

Hope you can make use to it and be blessed my dear friends. Today is great! I can feel the love of God gently. Wait my story! ~

Life is Tough

2009-04-30T02:58:00.010+08:00

Yes it does, and the world we are staying now is full of various people. We could find a lot of things inside. Everything just has a possibility to be done. Yeah, sometimes people hurt. Yes they are. Sometimes, somebody hurts. By their gesture or even their words, either it directly or indirectly said. Life just so tough and, sometimes, people are not, don't know yet to be, sportive. At last, we might be the victim? Be the one who gets blamed, perhaps.

Get discouraged. Get hurt. Get annoyed. That's it!

Just move on! it is too quick for us to give up now. Everything can be handled by our self. First thing first is, watch out our mind! How do we respond when we are facing things like that? Are we going to hurt them back? discourage them? annoy them?

A loud voice NO will be answered to you. Please! just don't do that. It wasting time and energy, yet, it doesn't profitable. Life always seems UNFAIR but it is not. Life is actually always fair. It depends on how you win the tricks. Should I say that life is tricky? haha

We have choices, so we have to choose.

To be discouraged? or be more motivated? To be hurt? or to enlarge self capacity? to be annoyed? or to improve life?

See?It's simple. Keep your mind thinking positively. Cos everybody knows, life is tough! Things like that just so common. Take it easy, make it fun! If it's you who are facing kinda difficult situation with other people, be strong and take courage. Keep positive, pray for them and believe! We can live better each days! :) We have He, who is always lifting us up!

Philippians 2:5

Isaiah 43:1

2 Chronicles 20:15

Actually, this week is a busy week for me. Indeed I don't have much time for this. But, I really need to spill something out. Things that are running in my mind lately. And I found this, people, very annoying. Sometimes I can't stand on it. It was too hurt, you know. I tend to wonder, why people were hard to forget? difficult to forgive? unwilling to be sportive? But I'm okay now. Life is tough but I'm here to be tougher than that! :) So, friends, thanks for reading the random feelings of mine.

Gift

2009-04-29T19:54:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday to Jafeth Thomas

Reporting

2009-04-27T17:37:00.007+08:00

It likes a long time ago I didn't drop here by. Actually I'm just too busy this week to write. I don't have anything else in my mind to be written beside my ISP project. Still a few days to go yet a lot of things are waiting to be done.

By the way, saturday I was going to a wedding, an exalted one! WOW! never saw stuff like that before. Here I put some photograph I took. Really very gorgeous scene!

St Regis Orchard

2009-04-27T17:35:00.001+08:00

There we are!

2009-04-27T17:33:00.006+08:00

well..time to get back work! ISP? bring it on baby!

Share Blessings

2009-04-23T16:44:00.007+08:00

A few days ago I found this on my tweetdeck-replies. It came from Robb Thompson, one of my favorite authors yet he is a great man of God. He was shared the messages he did in Puerto Rico. I really blessed by his writing :)

Walking in your inheritance

by robb thompson

 #1 - The Most Celebrated Demon In All Of Hell Was The One Assigned To Convince You That God Wanted You Poor.

#2 - Prosperity Is Nothing More Than Having Your Needs Met And Something Left Over To Meet The Needs Of Others.

#3 - God Will Never Give You A Future That Makes Him Unnecessary.

#4 - A Life Without A Harvest Is Proof You Have Invested In The Wrong People. (2Chron. 20:35-37)

#5 - Men Die To Leave An Inheritance… Jesus Came Back To Show Us How To Walk In It.

#6 - The Greatest Test You Will Ever Face Is The Test Of Prosperity.

#7 - It Is Impossible For God To Live Without The Man Who Chooses The Life Of Generosity. (2Cor. 9:6 AMP)

Check this out

2009-04-23T00:33:00.012+08:00

Temans, hari ini aku dikejar-kejar deadline!! haha. jadi tidak sempat menulis panjang-panjang!!! ahahaha. Yang pasti hari ini sedang sibuuukkkk banget! (hebat nih masih bisa ngeblog!) hahah. Trus tadi ditengah-tengah kebosanan, aku nyanyi-nyanyi kan, eh ketemu lagu ini. Bagus lhoooo :)

I know Who holds tomorrow
Ira Stanphill

I don't know about tomorrow,
I just live from day to day.
I don't borrow from it's sunshine,
For it's skies may turn to gray.I don't worry o'er the future,For I know what Jesus said,
And today I'll walk beside Him,
For He knows what is ahead.

Refrain
Many things about tomorrow,
I don't seem to understand;
But I know Who holds tomorrow,And I know Who holds my hand.

Ev'ry step is getting brighter,
As the golden stairs I climb;
Ev'ry burden's getting lighter;
Ev'ry cloud is silver lined.
There the sun is always shining,There no tear will dim the eyes,
At the ending of the rainbow,
Where the mountains touch the sky.

I don't know about tomorrow,
It may bring me poverty;
But the One Who feeds the sparrow,
Is the One Who stands by me.And the path that be my portion,
May be through the flame or flood,
But His presence goes before me,
And I'm covered with His blood.

Bagus kaann kata-katanya?!! hehehe. Ayo temans pada cari juga lagunya yah. Biar nanti bisa nyanyi bareng di naff. hehehe.

Tralalalala

2009-04-23T00:33:00.011+08:00

Yak, anyway, akhirnya, tadi aku baru selesai bikin!! hehe.

This imut-imut picture I made for my bro yang telah banyak membantu! hehe. (ganti yang kemaren) ;p

This award I presented to click here ! :)

Special Corner : Ucapan Terima Kasih

2009-04-22T03:11:00.006+08:00

ahahaha.. kak ! maaf ya gambarnya jelekan! nanti bikin yang bagusan nya besok! huhu THANKS! :D

Problems?

2009-04-21T15:08:00.005+08:00

Siang ini aku chat sama temen sekelas waktu SMA dulu, saingan di kelas sih tapi sahabat dekat. Hehe. Sharing our experience about spiritual dryness.

Tau gak sih, itu hal yang paling menakutkan dan yang paling memprihatinkan di muka bumi ini (ini ga lebai, tapi ini serius). I have ever felt it once in my life, that one is the most bad, worse and worst ever! ketika aku menomorduakan Tuhan dalam hidup dan beneran deh, rasanya hidup hampa banget! rasanya ga ada harapan, ga ada gunanya ada disini, bener-bener keringnya itu (kalo mo diinget-inget pun masih suka serem sendiri) dan aku ga akan kayak gitu lagi. Titik.

Tapi kalo dipikir sekarang, kalo ga ngerasain hal itu, aku ga akan pernah sadar. Aku ga akan pernah surrender sama Tuhan, aku ga akan setaat ini sama Tuhan, dan aku ga akan rasain betapa hebatnya Tuhan (tapi intinya sih, cukup sekali deh ngerasain kayak begitu ;p) Aku rela banget dihukum Tuhan ketika aku harus dihukum dengan cara apapun asalkan jangan yang satu itu, ketika Tuhan diam dalam setiap doa-doaku, ketika sate aku bahkan ga ngerasain presencenya (God! aku bener-bener ga bisa!), mending dapet masalah (tapi ga minta2 juga sih;p) karena ketika masalah dateng silih berganti, aku akan tetap beridiri tegap karena aku tau aku sama Dia. Karena dalam Dia ada kemenangan. Karena ketika masalah datang, aku bisa lebih dekat sama Tuhan dan ketika aku bisa melewati masalah itu maka aku naik satu level dan tandanya kita lebih deket sama destinasi kita.

Sometimes, spiritual dryness tuh disebabkan oleh masalah-masalah yang datang mewarnai hidup kita, dan dasar kita manusia, ketika masalah dateng kita pasti langsung di intimidasi sama masalah itu. Bawaanya jadi stress, depresi, putus asa, salahin Tuhan dan bahkan ninggalin Dia, ujung-ujungnya mau bunuh diri. Kenapa kita ga bisa berpikir positif? ketika masalah dateng, itu saatnya kita refleksi diri dan harusnya kita tambah dekat sama Tuhan, bukannya ninggalin. Makanya kenapa ketika kita memutuskan masalah jadi tambah banyak dan ga beres-beres? karena kita belom dateng sama Dia. Kita bergantung sama kekuatan sendiri, kekuatan temen atau materi. I tell you: it'll never works out! even orang tua rohani kita pun ga akan mampu atasin masalah/perasaan kita. Cuma Tuhan yang bisa karena ini antara kita personally sama Tuhan dan ketika kita berpaling sama Tuhan ada sukacita yang luar biasa dalam hati kita, ada perasaan damai, aman dan tentram. Pokoknya mantap deh! :)

Yah, jadi mari kita ketika masalah datang, jangan cepat nge-judge bahwa Tuhan jahat dan ga sayang sama kita, tapi mari kita pikir bahwa karena Tuhan sayang sama kita maka Dia mau ngangkat kita ke tempat yang lebih tinggi. Bahwa Dia mau jadiin kita menjadi anak-Nya yang luar biasa, maka kita harus dilatih untuk menjadi kuat.

Jadi anak Tuhan kita harus pikul salib, dan emang salib itu ga ringan. Salib itu berat dan kita pasti bisa terjatuh, cos even Jesus waktu mikul salib Dia sempat terjatuh, tapi Dia ga pernah nyerah pikul salib-Nya sampai ke tujuan. Karena disana ada kemenangan. Ketika Dia disalib maka iblis dikalahkan. Makanya kita pun harus meneladani Yesus. Pantang menyerah memikul salib demi satu tujuan sesuai panggilan hidup kita.