Testify to Love

Well..I found that lately my writting was too heavy to read. Feel like whining all the time, so boring. Hmm, it's supposed to be a testimony loving God and people and not myself alone I think :)
Yeah, at the moment, I was feeling and thinking negatively. Now, time to reset my mind, live life positively, full of gratitudes! It could avoid cancer by the way (source: Rev. Gilbert L). Haha.
Hmm, if at SG I could find a lot of happiness in my limitation, why I coudn't get it here with all the facilities?or anywhere I go? It's all only about choice-making :)
God, help me to keep positive no matter what! It wouldn't be easy without You.

"When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple. They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy. But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the LORD." (Jonah 2:7-9)

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Now I knew how does it feel. When u're motivating somebody who is in trouble time or feeling down that time then sometime they hardly accept what u've said, no matter how motivated it is. Now I knew about "fallow ground" as what I've learnt before, and knew what I should do. Again and again, the power of prayer had proven, thousand times in my life. Haha. God is so practical, isn't He? I've had my lesson. Gotta move on to the next chapter. I'm now much much better and start loving my job. Thank God. The wheel is now spinning on its top ;)

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Now I'm starting ask my self, why did I miss SG so badly? It was so many times I felt bored with that small country. It was so often I wanna get out of there and try live to another country. It was only a place that everyday the same? But, it was also a place when I could really be my self, when I could make my own decision, when I found my freedom as I am and I could find the people as a real fam in Christ. It was a place that keeps my fire burning. I think, it will work the same wherever I was placed for the first time, and SG was the place. Is it possible for me to find my another home here? Which is supposed to be my real home, by the way. So hard to accept that I much possibly stay here more than I've planned before rather than go back there and live as a student again. And, I don't need a reason to get angry to God.
I feel... I live a lifeless life of mine, every time I think about it, I'm so hopeless, sometime I became faithless. Speechless. I want to quit, but I won't.
I don't wanna waste my time any longer, I think. I never ask for this. Maybe I'm gonna try to do my own business while I'm still doing my duty as the oldest child. At least, I have things to do. Start considering to take a break for my ministry. I lost the calling I guess. Till my mom becomes better enough to be left, then I'll leave.
My faith is tested.

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It is from Genesis to Revelation, the bible taught about love. And, it such a beautiful thing that God had created. Being loved and loving somebody or anybody such a wonderful thing to do in life. I'm happy to be loved and happy for loving somebody. It's beautiful. See? How I'm happy to know that. Then, I reminded of God's love. Today, if you are still alive, it is because God loves you so much. Then how about us? Me, I want God feels the same with what I'm feeling now. To love and to be loved. When you knew how to love God, then you'll know how to love people in the right way. In love, sometimes, we did sacrifice for the one we love. And yes, Jesus did it two thousands years ago. Now is our turn. Let's be grateful for what we are today and show some love while we are still having this opportunity. Love is so beautiful. I want to love God even more, and pleased Him. Easy! Like what you did to somebody you love no matter what, so does God, He wants to be loved like He used to do and until today He still and will be forever more. Let's show love to Jesus, more deeper in love with Him! =)

1 Cor 13 ~

Today I was talking with one of my best sister in life. Long story but one thing I realized that people made mistakes, and through mistakes people learnt, be stronger, be smarter, growing up! I mean, and yes, people made mistakes but it's never too late with Jesus cos He still loves us badly. Yes! Don't be corrupted with our past, still we can, let's show some love for others and for God. Love is so beautiful thing to be done. Love love love ~

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I just knew why God gives me so many options after struggled in my prayer that possible, is because He wants to test my heart. How big my desire and how serious I'm on it. He wants me to focus on His will where my heart goes. Well, now I'm flowing and wait till the next sign. Stop playing around. Gotta pray more and ask God what is the best choice to be chosen. Kalo dipikir-pikir, why I must be afraid? if it is from God that everything gonna be okay. I will feel no doubt! All right, my story will be continue ;)

By the way, I'm now in Beijing and I was capture a picture: " Gereja Tua Gue Gak Tau Namanya" cos I didn't get any info about this old church when I passed by in a hurry. I love it and the sky, and I miss my SLR!

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Have u pray to God? What were u asking for? Has God answered it? or maybe He was silent?
How if God answered it in a difficult way for u to do? or choose? or decide?
I'm doing so. My God, is a rich God. He has anything everything abundantly. That's why He answered my prayer in so many ways, and... and... I don't know what to choose, what to decide, what is the best!!!! Maybe I'm just too afraid of making mistakes. I'm not sure about my life ahead IF I must decide this quickly. I wish I could flow and only flow without have to decide something let God decide it for me. I'm feeling bad to God, cause when He provided my needs I'm postponing to fulfill it myself. I'm hiding.
Sometimes, or maybe anytime, God asks for a sacrifice. And actually, YES, I'm able to do that, sometimes, I just too compromise. How how how.. I'm not ready for that sacrifice. Huwaaaaa....
But I believe, my God is a faithful God, He'll never fail me. YES HE IS! never never fail me, lalalalalalala~
Let see what'll happen next!

"I believe, above all the others....."

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It's been a long long time didn't drop by here to leave some writings. I admit I was being very busy and too lazy to write cos it was too much things around to be shared ;p

After months, I'm still feeling it's not easy to be ME, otherwise I'm grateful for what God had given to me so far. After all I know that He is everything beyond my thought. Have u ever knew about this quotation:

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." Mother Teresa

Yeah, I just wish that God didn't trust me that much. Sometime I feel like to giving up either with my life or people's life, I wanna live my life like other people do. But, it is God, who made me able to keep standing still after times I have felt. I'm so so grateful.

I've gone through a lot of things lately, and at the end of the day I found no other feeling beside grateful in my heart. I have saw people stuck with their problems, end up with bad things for their life. Made me thinking, made me wondering WHY they could think like that while I never did so? and the answer only cos I have Jesus in my life. I have a different view in my life, above all else I have a BIGGER GOD than every problem in my life, bigger than anything else in this world. With Him, your life will not be the same and THAT'S RIGHT!!!

There will be a time when you're feeling difficult, or facing the hardest times of your life, just believe that there is also a time when you'll look back at it and you just laugh cos Jesus make everything beautiful in a perfect time. Keep pushing forward!

So, if it's you, hey brother and sister, who already have Jesus in your life, you are now in the right path of the way and don't stop being grateful to Him cos everything good if you're depending to Him! =)

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